Daily Douchebaggery

I found a double dose of douche linked in from Snopes.com, a CNN story about a man who got so upset at another man for talking in a theater that he shot him. But it gets better. This is after he threw popcorn at the guy's kid. Not only is the guy a douche for using a weapon in anger, and shooting this guy in front of his family, but people like this are the reason why weak-wristed liberals scream for gun control. Way to ruin gun rights for all the smart, responsible owners.

But, I must also nominate the father who dragged his entire family out to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and then proceeded to chat it up with his kids (how were they not bored senseless?) during the movie. Leave your goddamn kids at home and shut up during the movie. And if I see that cellphone screen pop up one more time, oh boy. . . where's my gun?

I cross my fingers to avoid VD

A study released today shows exactly how effective 'virginity pledges' are in real life, despite the I'm-better-than-those-sinners good feelings, armbands and nightly self-flagellation. They just do not work. In fact, there is a big downfall to the practice. Those taking the pledges are more likely to not use protection when they break that vow just-this-once. This seems to me like fallout from the Bush administration endorsed Abstinence Only sexual education, which takes the don't-ask don't-tell approach to sexual curiosity; which as other studies have shown, only increases the teenage birth rate in areas using this type of sex-ed, reversing a 14 year DECLINE in teen birth rates. Enough with the hyphens.
No matter what you do, kids are going to want to fool around, especially if you make it even more taboo than it already is for teenagers. At least if you let them arm themselves, you wont have a grandchild to take care of while your daughter goes to night school to finish her GED while the supposed father left town months ago, hoping any possible paternity tests vindicate him. And for god's sake, let the poor kids masturbate! It's our only hope.

You're special, just like everyone else

Over my hiatus I was musing on why human beings are so intent on following, becoming sheep, obliged to follow the first idea or trend that seems to be popular, submissively baring their necks to some kind of leader, whether they believe the message or not.
It appears people are so inclined to subjugation that they will throw themselves under the first heavy foot that comes along, if it gives the appearance of some form of safety. This can be social, religious, or ideological. This type of person yearn for a master, a lord, a savior, someone to support, believe in; someone to save them.
This 'unthinking majority' are too afraid to be individuals, to develop their own ideals, to create an identity for themselves. Conformity seems much safer than the possibility of becoming an 'outcast.' It is so much easier to throw the yoke over your shoulders and pull with others, head down, whip cracking unseen above you, than to walk the path unencumbered, eyes ahead, not shoulder to shoulder with others as afraid as you, but solitary and alone.
What is there to fear? Is it not knowing, the unknown, and being an unknown? There is some form of sycophantic recognition in huddling quiet with the herd, rather than finding a shelter of your own. Your identity absorbs into some inert, invisible sphere, held together only by the will of those associated with it. When the stronger minds come away from it, this idea, this tenuous association-by-association, dissolves away. This type of identity has no substance.
I hope someone out there thinks about this before purchasing that piece of spring fashion that becomes half the price by summer, and irrelevant by fall. Same as with the next winner of American Idol. That CD will never really matter next year. That car you can't afford but looks really cool you'll most likely hate by the time it's paid off, and want the next New Thing.
There's more than one reason the Romans had a phrase for 'Buyer Beware.'

Of Tacos and Presents

I returned home yesterday, my mind battered and blank from twelve hours of travel, with no energy or motivation to write a post. I have plenty of fodder after spending a week with my family, seeing many things, having or listening in on various discussions, with several episodes of family drama occurring. It was quite an adventure, whilst I consumed countless calories and burned none of it off, spending my leisure time reading, eating, scratching the ears of lazy dogs, driving my grandmother around, and waiting for the rain to abate. Yes, it rained most of the time I was in San Diego, letting up long enough for me to walk around the San Diego Zoo and stop by the beaches of La Jolla Shores for twenty minutes, and wander around in t-shirt & shorts while everyone else was bundled up for the Klondike. Hey, fifties is nice when you leave the teens and twenties home for a while.
I also managed to finally get my fish tacos I have been craving since the last time I was down there nearly eighteen months ago, and since Wahoo's seems to be the only place that can do it right, it was worth the wait. Oh, the food I consumed; what a dishonor to my body fat index. I broke my rule against soda, easily consuming two or three cans a day, eating candy and cookies and going out for at least one meal everyday except Christmas.
I made out alright, several gift cards/certificates, some nice new electronic equipment, some socks, real tea and an infusion ball, and for some reason, a candy & deep-fry thermometer. Oh, I can't forget this hat my grandfather made for me. I can't see why the girls wont be crawling all over come next semester. Hawt.

Hiatus Pt.1!

Going on vacation, heading from the frosty frontier of Utah down to the sandy shores of San Diego, for the next week. I'll try and get some posts up, but I'm not making any promises.

If I don't have that shirt I'll just DIE!

During the economic boom of the late nineties into the early 21st century, American consumer spending rose, while savings numbers shrunk to record lows. People in this country have built a life around spending money. Instead of developing a personality, they buy it.

"My vapid smile would look great in that new Volkswagen!"
"My hipster hair-do really stands out with this iPod and ironic t-shirt."
"I sure feel depressed. What I wouldn't do for a brand new LCD television."
Along with the notorious over-medication many Americans practice is a tendency to purchase happiness, instead of seeking it out or figuring out why you need to fill your life with more stuff than your neighbor. People are so medicated on shopping they will kill each other to get at that good deal. So what are our proud American sheep to do now that we are spiraling into a recession? People are losing houses and cars they can't afford, losing jobs they hate but only work to keep themselves out of their mounting debt, can't get financing or credit they really don't need and still want to maintain a lifestyle corporations tell them they deserve.
One psychology professor and author sees several inevitable outcomes. Theft, violence and depression will rise, and may already be doing just that. Gas prices may be down but people still don't have the money to fill their cars. There are sales everywhere you turn, but spending for the holidays it at a ten-year low. Dealers are almost giving cars away, but few can afford a new car. Unemployment is at a 14 year high already, and we don't know when this recession will pull out.
I'm one of those poor souls still living nearly paycheck to paycheck, even without the need for the latest fashions from the lifestyle-retailers. I do not own an iPod. I don't have a car payment. The only extravagance I have shelled out for is a vacation cruise to Mexico, because if I don't have a break from working full-time and going to school, waking up at 6 am every day to commute with the morons in my great state, I'm going to commit homicide. It's nothing personal to the victim, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I will send a fruit basket to your widow/family/cat.
This spending to purchase good emotions...could that be tied to this? The American government is notorious for throwing money at a problem, hoping it will go away. Our current military spending on two wars and the support thereof has reached over 900 billion dollars since 2001. That's our money, our tax dollars the government has seen fit to piss down a massive hole (along with 4,765 soldiers lives), and for what benefit? Saddam is dead, no one can find Bin Laden, Al Queda is stronger than ever, and Iraq is finally pulling itself together, after 668,051 dead civilians and losing millions of others who left their home country. And any right-wing Hannity fan will tell you we're winning the 'war on terrorism,' despite the best efforts of the Liberals who want us to lose. It's the same with the 'war on drugs' (yeah, thanks Regan), where billions have been squandered for a few headline-making busts and drugs are more available than they were twenty years ago, and often cheaper.
America loves spending money to make itself feel better, like it's doing something good. We give money to countries that support 'terrorism,' like Egypt against its own people, and Israel against the Palestinians. And along the way, we've made the world a much safer place, except I have to take my shoes off to get on an airplane and a pissed-off journalist actually threw his shoes at our own president, who may likely rot in the bowels of prison for seven years. he journalist, not Bush, despite what many people would like to see. Ahem.
Maybe I'm overreacting, but I doubt it. I fear America will show her true face during the next couple of months, where a once proud and powerful civilization will expose how close to insanity and barbarism it really is.

Arrr, it's cold out there.

Unsubstantiated PROOF that piracy is linked to global warming, a belief espoused by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, has been shown in recent months. As the number of pirate attacks has increased dramatically, the temperature has decreased respectively.
No reasonable person could deny this cause and effect, as the global rise in temperature over the past century has also correlated to the decrease in piracy on the open ocean. The only logical conclusion is that the sudden increase in pirates has caused the temperatures to decrease over the past two years.
However, there have been a large number of pirates caught by the Indian navy, causing them to cease their pirate ways. Will this lead again to an upswing in temperatures? Will a widespread fight against piracy cause the earth to warm up even faster than previously recorded? Only time will tell.
My the FSM be with us all.

Daily Douchebaggery

I believe he ain't Ah-meri-cun!
It appears there are still Obama-haters out there who will not comprehend that he is a citizen. These Barachnophobes cannot take no, or the state of Hawaii's word, for an answer. What exactly are the arguments? They range from the mildly logical to the downright creative. Most deny that his is a citizen because his father was not a citizen, or that he was born outside off the country, and the latest, he had dual citizenship at birth (his father was Kenyan but under British citizenship), exempting him from a presidential seat. Huh? Okay. . .
Several of these cases have been settled, and some are currently still in court, in an attempt to oust the President-elect from his soon-to-be residence, the White House. Fact is, he was born in Hawaii, on American soil, which automatically grants anyone citizenship in our country, like it or not. This is getting ridiculous. Some people believe there is some massive conspiracy to hide the fact Barack is not a citizen, all the evidence and logic to the contrary. Questioning it at the outset of his campaign is one thing, and once it is settled, it should have gone away. But no, the hatred runs so deep in some Americans that they will find any excuse to try and stop Obama from becoming our president.
Oh, the fear, it is strong in this one.

The All-Natural Illusion

Normally, I rant about High Fructose Corn Syrup on my other blog, since it is primarily associated with beverages. But I am getting just as tired with companies portraying their products as 'natural' as I am with the Corn Lobby for doing the same.
Sure, HFCS is made from corn, right along with biodiesel, ethanol, adhesives and biodegradable plastics. I have several sets of hangers made from the latter. Does that mean I want to eat it? Afraid not. HFCS is a highly refined sweetener, and everyone should avoid eating anything associated with the phrase 'highly refined' or 'highly processed.' So although the initial product it came from was natural, anything that takes this much processing to attain a particular state should defy the label of natural.
The Corn Lobby, or 'Big Corn,' as we like to call it, is in an all out effort to reverse the trend of Americans turning away from HFCS. There have been commercials, magazine ads, and a slew of Internet articles and sites trying to debunk the 'myths' about America's favorite sweetener. Is it OK to consume in moderation? Sure, if you can manage to do that. The AMA says "We do recommend consumers limit the amount of all added caloric sweeteners to no more than 32 grams of sugar daily." That is ONE 12oz can of Coke. Per day. With NO other sweeteners in your diet. And if you like root beet or fruit punch, in one glass you are well over the 32 gram limit. See how difficult that can become?
And as for the companies who label their products as 'natural' with added refined sweeteners, they should be a little more honest. Anything with HFCS, sodium benozoate, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (often made from corn), or enriched white flour is not natural. You cannot reproduce that same product in your home with natural products, unless you happen to have a laboratory and an array of chemicals and enzymes at your disposal. And no, you cannot borrow mine. Also, most fast food is made from or cooking in/with corn and corn byproducts, only extending our dependence on one crop that should be used for other purposes.
I despise corporatism to begin with, although I support the idea of a free-market. I know it's not just the evil companies that are the problem. Mostly, I blame the consumer. Every fat tub-o-guts that cruises up to the drive-thru at their local Mickey D's at least once a day, every middle-aged soccer mom sucking down her sixth daily soda (god forbid it's a diet soda), every lazy-ass parent that takes their kids out to eat instead of cooking at home, has only exacerbated the problem, and the massive explosion of obesity in our fine country.
We live in a time of immediate satisfaction, we are becoming addicted to refined sugars and sodium, consuming as many calories as a professional runner needs in a day, sitting on our asses at home, then in the car, then in the office, and then wonder why we have heart disease, diabetes, and general ill-health. Almost nothing we eat is natural anymore. Even the fruit and veggies you get at the store are covered in waxes, pesticides, herbicides and other chemicals.
I've run out of steam for this post. Sigh. My sugar level is too low, I need a damn soda.

The Power of Christ Compels You...To Do Nothing?

This is something that, like many things in religion, defies all logic. 'Faith Healing is the attempt to use religious or spiritual means such as prayer, mental practices, spiritual insights, or other techniques to prevent illness, cure disease, or improve health.' (Thanks, Wikipedia) Basically, if you get sick, in some extreme (but disturbingly more frequent) cases someone prays for you to get better, instead of relying upon modern medicine, or any, for that matter.
There are several recent examples (2) (3) of this going terribly wrong, where the child being 'faith healed' has died, sometimes from easily treatable maladies. Several parents have been or are currently being prosecuted for the preventable death of their children, a bit of insult upon a self-inflicted injury.
Growing up in the LDS Church, I've had my own experiences with this type of treatment, although no so radical. It is called a 'spiritual blessing,' preformed by men who have the 'priesthood' and is meant to speed up or end an affliction. I was in a bad bicycle accident at the age of 15, and received a broken elbow and collarbone, among other injuries. This was a year after I had been hit by a car on the same bike, from which I received a mild concussion. In both instances, my parents and those around me had the sense to send me to a hospital, and save the blessings for after I was taken care of medically.
Although I no longer believe that spirituality had anything to do with my subsequent recovery and quickly healing bones, I still believe there is some effect in this practice, as more of a psychological and physiological placebo. The human body is an amazing thing, and this mental placebo effect my or may not speed up recovery from an illness or injury, but it is still widely noted and based on scientific fact, not religious faith.
The other part of this 'faith healing' explanation is something the Romans had a phrase for, long before Christians were around. Post hoc ergo propter hoc is basically the idea that a remission or sudden reversal of an illness happens simultaneously, but independent from anything a faith healer has done. You just get better all on your own, whether you are prayed over or not.
So should these blinded and misguided people receive jail time for letting their kids die instead of being proactive? I'm actually still on the fence about this one. On the one hand, they are practicing what they believe is their religious right (however archaic and ill-informed) to not rely on medical help. But, when the life of someone else, particularly a child hangs precariously between faith and medicine, should a prayer be your only response? Shouldn't someone take the blame and be held accountable?
God has been particularly hard to track down and has not released any statements as to his involvement in these tragedies.

Brunette at 3 o'clock

I approach you in cliché
with mild apprehension,
searching for an easy
friend in you. If
I asked your sign
or bought you the wrong drink
would it show you
that I am not
a player--they have
experience. I could
excuse the act
by pointing out
I'm following my base
biological
imperative,
looking to take you home.
Asking your name--
wanting your un-inhibition
to see your soul exposed
in a dark-hour orgasm.
Are there pheromones
in the air here,
drawing me in
awkward insect motions
to your sweat-traced figure?
Not wanting complications
only mutual
violations, sounded out
in fuck-voiced moans
of satisfaction,
is that too much to ask?

Right now,

life is all barcodes and
microprocessors.
The energy of living gets engulfed
in the daily commute,

suffocated by exhaust
and too much Information.
Digital signals are driving
bees crazy enough to die,

and infest everything else
with cancer of the soul.
Birds roost in high-rises,
coyotes live in parks—

and I want to move out
to the woods, live
the quiet life of the recluse,
collect canned food and pets

and wait it out until
mushroom clouds and oil fumes
all dissipate. Then,
come and get me.

Less Death on Wheels?

This has to be one of the greatest inventions since the cell phone. A company has developed a car key that blocks cell phone signals on the driver's phone, to keep the driver from using their cell phone for calls or texting. It is mainly aimed at parents to keep their teens hands and eyes away from their phones, but I can see this expanding into an effort to keep any driver from fiddling with their phone. There are few things more frightening than having a cell phone preoccupied moron in an over-sized SUV hurtling off an on-ramp into your lane without even looking.
Every statistic shows that driver inattention is the number one cause of collisions, and teens are the worst. I mean, take a look at this disturbing statistic. Teenage driver's inattention rises over 1500% over normal driving when screwing around with a cell phone. And brats wonder why I flip them off when I'm on my motorcycle.
I am not completely innocent, even I, an iconic being of integrity, reason and intelligence, will occasionally drift into the realm of mortals and use my phone while I drive. Usually it is because someone is calling me. And I usually keep it short and sweet, which goes for using the phone at all. I hope every adult that actually gives a damn about what their kids do go out and purchase these keys when they are available, and consider it a stipulation for driving, along with seat-belts and no dumb ass friends in the car.
I think I may invest in this company.

Daily Douchebaggery

The plumber-dumber joke is too obvious.
Today I would like to implicate another political tool for acts of complete douchebaggery, the inaptly named Joe the Plumber. This skin-headed math-wizard is not only NOT a licensed plumber, he's also a back-stabbing, opportunistic douchebag.
This Republican-everyman took the fortuity and accompanying book deal to rip on McCain, the wrinkled and liver-spotted hand that pulled him out of obscurity and fed him. The only reason he gives for sticking with McCain on the campaign trail even with the thought that McCain "appalled me" was that he hated Obama even more.
This man represents the uncompromising, ignorant, illogical hatred many repubs have for Obama, mostly because he doesn't represent their party, but also because he is an unknown; he can be construed as a Muslim, Socialist, American-hater, and shh, but I hear he's also half black. All you have to do is give these kind of people a reason to fear or hate someone, however skewed, nonfactual or not even based on reality it is, and they will jump on it. It's much easier than having think for themselves, because there will be the inevitability that they realize they may be wrong about something. So I'll just pick on this man as a figurehead for the group and ask him to just quit being a douchebag.

Hannity FAIL

Once again, Captain Douchebag himself his made an ass of himself, and wont give up until all his simple-minded sheep followers think Obama is the scum off the bottom of a garbage can. This attempt, however, failed.
I knew the moment I heard that the doomed Blogojovich was the governor of Illinois, someone would immediately throw their hand up and squirm in their seat like a third grader needing to use the bathroom, and intimate Obama had some hand in the absolute atrocities this man is accused of. Statements recorded without his knowledge easily dismiss speculation that Obama encouraged the selling of his vacated state senate seat, or even really knew the guy. IF it ever comes out that he did, however unlikely, I would fully support any actions against Obama. There is far too much corruption in politics as it is, and it's heartwarming to see someone like this go down. I seriously hope this guy heads to prison for a large number of years, and meets some new friends that don't much like pasty white-collar criminals with bad haircuts.
As for you, Hannity, although I wish you would be put away yourself, I still believe in the right to free speech more that you do, so I hope you have plenty more time on air, and continually show the world who you really are. Douchebag.

Yeah, I saw you

Yeah, I saw you
too, silent type brunette,
chipped-polish fingernails,
languid glance.

I get that
rapid yes-wait-maybe-no-never mind
experience. Was that you
glancing through me—
interference in your wavelength?

Dare I tempt
indiscretion or continue to live
by cowards’ rules?
I could ask your name

—simplest of things—
search for common pursuits;
would you laugh, frown,
freeze—or do nothing at all?

Do I stand, or just wave
to call your attention--
has it been long? No, but
I lose your eyes to another,

and chance precludes me dashing
against sirens' rocks.
The moment
wasted
in deliberation.

Daily Douchebaggery

I am going to open this new article with a double-header, aimed at the Knights of Columbus and Bill O'Really. These will tie in somewhat with my diatribes on the War on X-mas, but not completely.

Oh, no! NOT the white, male, Christian power structure!
If you're as big a fan of O'Reilly as I am, you'll love this. Last year, he had McCain on the 'Factor,' and while mentioning the New York Times, said the following: "They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you're a part, and so am I..." The context of what he was talking about is not as important as that self-inclusive phrase. If there is nothing else about this man that bothers you, I hope at least this puts a twitch in your jaw. Many things this man has said and done could easily nominate him for Douchebaggery. But this, this is the crown jewel, if you will, a complete representation of everything this joker represents. Minus the conservatism. Even that little egotistical hint at the end there, "and so am I."
As if this isn't bad enough, he expounds constantly about the 'war on Christmas,'while subtly showing his anti-Semite and white-power cards. He is also terribly worried about these verbal and ethical attacks on Christians and Christianity. It's in danger, apparently, being only 1 billion strong. Is there any redeeming quality this man possesses that would keep someone from wishing eternal anal-rapage in the bowels of hell? If there is, I haven't seen it.

Oh, the good we do, in the name of God.
If you have never heard of the Knights of Columbus, they are a rather large Catholic fraternal organization named in honor of historical douchebag Christopher Columbus. There is a lot of good this organization does, donating millions to charity and logging hundreds of man-hours in service and volunteer work, including supporting the Special Olympics. BUT, every long-standing (126 years) fraternal organization has its flaws.

• In 1954 they waged a successful battle to insert 'under God' into the pledge of allegiance, adding to the lengthy history of 'freedom' loving Christians forcing God and religion into the government (I've mentioned this before)
  
• Black males were often turned down from admission to the organization, until pressure from above (not who you think) forced them to quit their unwritten blackball system by the end of the fifties
• It remains an all-male organization, but hey, them women are trouble
• They constantly erect pro-life and "Keep Christ in Christmas" signs and billboards (I have one of the latter in my own town! I'm so proud!)
• And anyone that parades around in colorful capes, feathered chapeaux and carry swords deserves SOME sort of DB status

I suppose Christians will be Christians (a rather disconcerting tautology), but to support the imaginary fight against equality, decency and respect that is the 'war on Christmas,' I'm sorry, but I have to nominate them for douchebaggery, at least the top echelon of the organization. And get that damn billboard out of my town, there aren't any Catholics there, anyway.

UN 2.0?

There are many reactions you can get from people by talking about the possibility of a world government, some get starry-eyed and dream about the day when wars do not exist. Some might become uncomfortably nervous and absentmindedly feel for their sidearm, and think of how long one could live off the land in the deep woods before 'they' came for him. And a few might let a grim smile slide across their sneering face and imagine the kind of power positions in that organization could bring, and wonder if anyone can see their boner.
On the practical side of things, our world is becoming so interconnected and dependent upon each other country that some sort of controlling body for international politics is going to be necessary. Just look at what happened when the U.S. housing market crashed; our economic slide started pulling other countries into depressions of their own, so much that the need for oil has declined worldwide, begun by our precipitous descent into the gas prices we see today, prices many said we would never see again. A world government, properly managed, could put an end to or at least minimize the far reaching effects of such an economic catastrophe. But problems would inevitably arise.
The logistical considerations for such an organization are immense. There are 266 nations, dependencies, and other entities in the world, over 6,900 languages (counting various dialects), many radically different types of government, and well over 6.6 billion people. If you need an example of how these kinds of numbers can stymie any kind of relative efficiency, just look at the current United Nations. Do they really seem united at all?
An organization of such astounding numbers would have to approach its rule in a nearly utilitarian fashion, doing what was best for the planet as a whole, and not bending the wishes of smaller numbers looking to exploit for their own gain. I have a feeling many capitalists would cry foul at something like this, which is why a strict adherence to a set of rules and an international court would have to be mandatory, similar to how the UN is (sic) run.
I think it is inevitable, and quite possible within the next few decades to see the forming of such a governing body; and while I plan to buy a decommissioned military base and stockpile my own arms, then secede from the world as a whole, I encourage this joining of the world governments together for the peaceful benefit of all mankind.

For more information check out this inspirational article.

Winter Discontent

It's December 8th, and it's finally snowing here in the great state of Utah. We've only had one day of snow so far this winter that actually stuck to the ground. Last Monday it was 61 degrees. If it's going to be the miserable season we call winter, it at least needs to look like it. It's been late-fall for two months, and it's killing my paycheck, too. In the auto repair industry, snow means $$, because, as I mentioned before, Utahn's seem to forget how to drive in the snow my mid-spring, and don't regain the ability until about February the following year, if ever. So snowstorms bring in more cars, ergo, business has been slower than normal.
Even though I dislike the cold, the lack of snow makes it harder to get by, especially when you're working your way through school, it's almost Christmas, and you have three trips coming up within two months. Arg.

Down With. . . Whatever This Represents!!

Just when you thought that only informed people took up their signs and girded their loins, to show genuine concern for something, stupidity strikes again, to remind you that most protest in ignorance. Hooray for protest in ignorance! Last week, Cuban exiles protested in Miami, apparently outraged at the historical drama "Che," about Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara. Benicio Del Toro, who plays Guevara, even had something to say about it, "... a lot of the people protesting the movie hadn't seen it." Are they afraid that Marxism will be shown in a positive light? Or that what Guevara and his peeps did was cool? Somehow I doubt it.
Does any of this sound familiar? There was a large outcry against "Brokeback Mountain," due to it's wrangling with homosexuality. Here in Utah, there was at least one major theater that refused to show it, only drawing more attention to it. Mormon-Heaven forbid you show a gay love story, although they had no problem showing the horrific and violent "Saw II".
And how many of those Bible-shaking homophobes who thought Brokeback was complete moral degradation and an utter travesty for portraying homosexuality as anything other than a horrible social problem actually went and saw it? Few, I'm certain. It's much easier to complain about something you know nothing about than to take the time to find out what the truth is.
Hooray for protest in ignorance!

Out of Order

Temple pounding
blood pulse
breathing
like fear of death
I'm breathing
sucking in each
set of steps
weak calves
thighs burn
hatred from knees
a creature
of habit, and out
--the elevator's
out--of shape

The Prize

I express my thoughts
in rhymes and melancholy
turning my follies in love
into free-verse rants
changing my volleys of rage
into haiku and sonnets
hoping someone recognizes
my babbling for genius
calls me a poet
calls me an artist
and gives me a Pulitzer.

Hey, get your God out of my politics!

As I have ranted about before, religion and politics need to remain mutually exclusive. This country was founded with the idea of freedom of religion, without any interference by the government. Conversely, no religion or any 'Church' was to have any control over the government. This ideal is just that, an ideal. Sometimes it is difficult to come by a complete and even separation of church and state. The Declaration of Independence did mention the Creator, but nowhere in the Constitution does it mention God, or give any higher power credit for the forming of the nation. The first three words are "We the People," not God the Almighty. This country was formed to get out from underneath an oppressive monarchical rule, unjust taxation, and unfair trade practices performed under the British empire. It was not formed purely by God's blessing, it was by the blood and sweat and ideas of countless people, seeking freedom and a life not interfered with by a Church-ruled state.
How often have you heard in recent years about this 'Christian nation?' For me, too many. This is a free nation, with many Christian believers, who try to impose their beliefs, morals and ideals on everyone who lives here. In recent news:

• The newly opened Capitol Visitor Center is already under fire by conservative lawmakers because someone chose E. Plurbus Unum as the National Motto instead of In God We Trust
• Protests and legal maneuverings are still under way after the passing of Proposition 8 in California, mainly against the LDS Church who donated millions of dollars and unknown other resources of time and personnel in favor of the Proposition
• There is at least one court case under way seeking the removal of 'under God' from the Pledge of Allegiance, which was added in 1954 after a campaign by the Knights of Columbus

Religion has been slowly forced into many aspects of daily life of the years, God is even on our money. Religion is often a bully that tells you what to do and how to do it, and will not take any questions on how it does things. Remember, many fundamentalist Christians will tell you that hundreds of years of scientific exploration and research are wrong because of things that are often misconstrued and read into in a book coming from scrolls written possibly thousands of years ago, that have been re-written, translated, compiled and edited for centuries, again and again. But then again, it is The Word. I'm straying again.
The basic problem is that most people see the First Amendment as just a guaranteed right to practice their religion how they want, and to try and have others practice the same thing. I'm seeing it also as freedom FROM religion, yours, theirs, and anyone who tries to affect my life by shoving their own beliefs into mine, without regard to what I believe. You can call me a sinner and fallen and even say you'll 'pray for me,' (save your breath) and that is fine. But stay out of my politics and laws, don't force everyone to believe what you do, the difference in ideas everywhere is one of the things that makes this country great. Don't spoil it by trying to erect a theocracy in my beloved country. God bless Atheism.

Bottoms Up

Today marks the 75th anniversary of the ratification of the 21st Amendment to the United States Constitution. The amendment repealed the 18th, which began prohibition. Thus ended four years of an 'alcohol free' nation, which caused more problems than they were hoping it would solve. Instead of teaching someone to be responsible with something they really want, you just take it away, and say they can't have it anymore. Ever. Works well, right? Those of you with kids know that it ain't so easy. They will find a way to get it, and make your life miserable in the process. Our government found this out the hard way, as smuggling became rampant and basement breweries sprang up everywhere.
The harm of alcohol is not in its use (as is the case for cigarettes), but rather in its abuse. As a new generation of television-raised, Internet-refined, devil-may-care children has reached teenage-years, the statistics around the world are rising rapidly for alcohol-related deaths. The culprit for this, as I have seen, is the lack of information on the effects and dangers of alcohol being related to them by their parents and society at large. This is not a good thing, but this is an issue so multifaceted that simply banning it doesn't work, as we have seen before.
Oddly enough, the tipping state for the ratification happened to be Utah, and anyone who lives here knows its strict and archaic alcohol laws, and the recent ban of the sale on alcho-pops or 'bitch-beer' in grocery stores. We don't have any dry counties, but in most places you can't buy beer on Sunday. Because that like, totally stops people from drinking. And as the state watches its beer-tax revenue decline, watch how many legislators actually care.
So while I shake my head in sadness for the disregard teens as well as many adults show toward the same use of alcohol, I still celebrate the return of our right as Americans to purchase and imbibe alcohol, have a good time, make complete asses of ourselves, and create lifelong regrets. This is a free country, after all. Cheers.

If you're drinking along, tonight it's Steel Reserve 211, High Gravity Lager. Smooth, baby.

Sacredieu!

It means holy God! in French. It was the only pun I could think of, okay?
Anyway, I just wanted to bitch a little about religion. We were having a chat in the office today, and our secretary has a sister that is a total Jesus-freak. I mean, orgasmic about Christ. Personally, I can't understand how someone could lack so much self-assurance, be so desperate for something to believe in, that they will turn their life over to a person they don't know, cannot fathom, and do not understand, with the complete blind faith that that person will provide a happy life for them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not banging on Jesus, chances are at the very least he was a real cat that had some interesting philosophical views and got nailed up because some powerful people didn't like what he was saying.
But to look down on others because they don't hang on every single two-thousand year-old word (supposedly) he said, and doing nothing for yourself but saying 'God will provide,' isn't going to get you very far in life. It goes the same for those who believe that all they have to do is accept Christ as their savior and they're guaranteed a pass into heaven. This is saying that no matter what you do or how horrible of a person you are in life, Jesus will say, 'it's cool' and let you into the eternal garden party anyway. Afraid not. James 2:26. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. And even though it isn't in the bible, Ben Franklin said it and he was a smart dude; "God helps those who help themselves."

War on Christmas Part 2: Viggo would sooo make a great Jesus

It would seem from the dogmatic expounding of the Great Americans fighting this 'war on Christmas' that you would see signs of it somewhere, aside from the Happy Holidays messages in stores or other businesses (which still sell countless 'Christmas' items, believe it or not). There has been some signs of it, in the form of secularization, or separating (by force, if necessary) of Church and State. How this has happened in recent years is the complaints filed against cities for placing nativity scenes on public (government) property. In many eyes, this is akin to posting the Ten Commandments (not the movie with that dreamboat Heston) in a city building. I, for one, am completely for the separation of Church and State, and let's throw Business in there as well. These three things need to stay as far away from each other as ethically possible, for when one taints the other, problems inevitably arise. All three together are sometimes called communism, or share a semblance t0 governments in many middle-eastern countries. But I have gone astray.
This removal of nativity scenes from the lawns of city buildings is seen by some as a fight against Christianity, since, of course, this is a Christian nation. Forget all that 'talk' about equality and separation of Church and State and freedom of religion; if you don't fall in line and agree with the majority, there will be hell to pay! Afraid not. In almost every instance, the judge has sided with the complaining party when it and if it goes to court. How often do you see a giant menorah or a Buddhist shrine in front of a state building? Ever seen a reenactment of the birth of Mohammad down at city hall? Think you ever will, in this country? Keep your baby Jesus off my lawn, and I'll keep my Flying Spaghetti Monster statue off of it too.

My World

My world is a place
where your name
can be copyrighted.
You can lose your identity
in a few malicious keystrokes,
where brevity reigns
and obscurity
is a thing of the past.
Befriend a stranger,
lose a life savings.
Your personality
is displayed to the world,
your mistakes
judged by millions,
your life
open to examination.
Spill your heart
and soul onto virtual
pages and see
no one read,
no one care.

War on Christmas Part 1: Somewhere, pagans are laughing. . .

I just heard this morning that one of my state senators, local ass-hat Chris Buttars, has declared a war on the 'war-on-Christmas' that is destroying our precious capitalist holiday. If you're not aware, Buttars is believed a closet racist, an open homophobe and has pushed for "Divine Design" to be taught in schools. Yup, just what you might expect from the radical Christian Right in Utah. What? Is that not very objective of me? Fuck it, he's a loon and I don't like homophobes. He's not the only one championing this fight against our favorite stolen holiday (actually, mine is Halloween), Bill O'Really and Pawn Hannity have chimed in more than once on this issue.
What exactly IS the issue? It seems that somewhere, some Machiavellian organization is slowly trying to destroy the Christian holiday, Christmas. How do we know this? Chain stores and businesses choose to display the more secular 'Happy Holidays' message instead of Merry Christmas. Damnation! How dare these store that cater to a large, diverse population respect the varied beliefs of that very society! Why should they take into account the other various holidays that occur around the same time, like Hanukkah, Eid ul-Adha, Kwanzaa and Festivus? Well, maybe because it's the right thing to do? Yet, the Christians are the only ones who seem to care, you really never hear atheists screaming about being forced to say Merry Christmas, or Jews or Muslims bitching because their holidays don't get mentioned. And if they did, I'm sure you'd hear some Christian scolding them for missing the spirit of the holidays.
And I just accidentally stumbled into my point. It's the spirit, if you will, that should be understood and enjoyed, not "it's-Christmas-because-Jesus-was-born-and-we're-celebrating-his-birthday!" And actually, it's most likely not, if know a little bit about history and some religion. So, Buttars, O'Rielly and all the rest of you oppressive Christian asses, calm down, get off your high horse, grab a glass of egg nog, and just enjoy the Holidays with the rest of us.

Liberal Anxiety

I always get a little nervous when I read something about the expansion or changing of the industrial-military complex, the liberal inside of me squeaks in fear and hides behind the NO WAR signs and gay-pride banners. The need for and use of a well-regulated militia these days seems only to be understood by gun nuts and recluses, the average citizen preferring to remain laissez-faire about their own state of security, since 'somebody else will take care of it.' They sure will, with or without your support. SO when I found this article, I was immediately struck with some apprehension. At the idea of having 20,000 dedicated troops on American soil to 'assist in times of emergency,' that little liberal started frantically waving the red flag of doom and shouting 'police state! military state! lock downs!' inside my head. Hoping this was an unwarranted assumption, I actually read the article, which outlines a plan already in effect to have that large number of military personnel standing and ready at a moment's notice in case of "a domestic chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear, or high-yield explosive attack, or CBRNE event, as the military calls it." Basically any large attack, or massive emergency. The article cites Hurricane Katrina as an example, possibly intimating the extremely poor and slow response to the disaster. This could be a good thing, if the force is well-organized and well-trained enough to handle such problems. However. There is still some residual consternation due to the fact that you have to put these people somewhere, and they need something to do, for we know what idle hands are. My biggest fear is the abuse of control over this force, which falls under the jurisdiction of the Executive Branch. That's Mr. President and his cabinet/cronies. And after Bush began an unwarranted invasion on Iraq (which the Congress did support and continues to fund), I think some worry is justified. I'm going to cross my fingers on this one, and hope we don't hear about abuse of civilian rights when a large military force is suddenly introduced into a city. Think a larger, better funded and well-supplied National Guard would have the same effect, without having to create an entirely new name for something. I hate the the different suspicious government names for groups like this.