From Oil to Supernovae

With the BP oil disaster still in the headlines, and America's still nervous feelings about conventional nuclear power, the fact that we are possibly on the verge of creating fusion has inexplicably managed to stay out of the public news. This is mostly because the project, which started back in 1997, ran into problems along the way, which is regrettable, but normal for new, highly technical situations like this. Although it's five years behind schedule and far over budget, it was dedicated last year and has already fired a successful test run this year. This summer, they may create a tiny star in this massive lab experiment, which would dissipate in a tiny supernovae, creating more energy than was used to create it. That's nuclear fusion with a net energy gain, once thought impossible, even laughable. While the use of such a power source would still probably be decades away, it's what we should be striving for, not continuing to drilling into the seafloor so we can occasionally cause such calamities as is currently ruining the coast of Louisiana. Drill, baby, drill, right?

Haiti to Monsanto: F*** You

In the hit documentary Food Inc., seed company Monsanto was vilified (and rightly so) for their legal attacks on farmers and seed harvesters for infringing their patent rights. Now, not only does Monsanto have to deal with problems like its public image, weeds becoming resistant to its weed-killer Roundup, and their general dislike by environmentalists; their gift to Haiti, 475 tons of hybrid seeds, will most likely not be accepted, and probably burned. Haitians see the move as an attack on their sustainable farming lifestyle, or as Chavannes Jean-Baptiste, spokesperson for the National Peasant Movement of the Congress of Papay put it, "a very strong attack on small agriculture, on farmers, on biodiversity, on Creole seeds ... and on what is left our environment in Haiti."
Kudos to the poor Haitians, who, even after their nation was devastated by an earthquake earlier this year, still resist the Americanized notion of letting corporations take care of you, if only for their future benefit. I can't imagine the difficulties they currently face, so compound that in five or ten years when Monsanto holds farmers liable for using their seeds, forcing them to buy them and suing them if they happen to drift into their field, since Monsanto can't seem to be held responsible for their own wayward seeds.

Shocked and Appalled? Not so much

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ga-ga

If I had been asked six months ago how I felt about Lady Gaga, I would have probably have used an expletive or two, and ranted a little about pop music and such. But recently, the world seems to be going ga-ga over Gaga. She made it onto Time mags list of 100 Most Influential People in the World list, leading the 'artists' section with a blurb written by Cyndi Lauper. South Park paid homage to her in their particular style by having Eric Cartman sing Pokerface during an episode. A few videos have made the Youtube rounds like the a capella version of Bad Romance and some of our soldiers in Afghanistan doing their own version of Telephone. Glad I know that my tax dollars are being spent wisely, keep up the good work, troops. I also just stumbled onto this teenager who does an impressive cover of Paparazzi on piano.
So now, I find myself intrigued by the Lady. Her lyrics are at times bizarre and charged with dirty sexuality. She writes most of them herself, which is quite a departure from most pop music stars, who sublet this tedious (and ultimately forgettable) task to firms in Nashville that crank them out like the sugar-pills they are. Gaga has actually made something possibly memorable, and despite my general abhorring for anything pop, find myself not changing the station when Pokerface comes on. Is that because of the purported meaning of the song? Possibly.

However, I'm much more entertained by Lily Allen, whose lyrics leave nothing to the imagination as does Gaga, but isn't nearly as bizarre, and can be downright cute, despite her notoriously bad behavior. Youtube her, but beware, some songs are NSFW.

Yeah, well this is a blogpost for 'white people.'

Now THAT is white

I get a lot of flack for many comments I make about certain things, but for one thing I say in particular. When someone is talking about something that isn't particularly good or is popular in American culture that really shouldn't be, or is seen as good by a particularly unpleasant segment of society, I'll usually say something like, "Yeah, that's because it's (pertinent subject here) for white people." This often comes up on the subject of food, which is something I take very seriously. Like when I hear that someone say, "Oh, I love Olive Garden, it's so good," I'll mention that, yeah, it's because it's Italian food for white people. Which it is. And as annoying as this type of broad commentary (and potential logical fallacy) can be, I feel it is valid, in its own subjective way.
It is my way of poking fun at a culture that I have become mostly disenchanted with, that being the general culture of 'white people,' by which I usually mean most Americans. The general attitude I have toward anything that has become popularized and/or Americanized is negative, therefore I find it displeasing or unpleasant. Examples: reality TV, chain restaurants, popular music, movies; but of course there exceptions to all these examples.
There are successful books and blogs on the subject of Stuff White People Like, and as amusing as they can be, there is a lot of truth behind it. I'm no cultural authority, but I live in America, one of the 'whitest' places on earth (although Japan seems to be catching up) and I live in Utah, definitely on of the whitest states, and in Utah county, undeniably the whitest area in the nation. And mostly republican, conservative and Christian. I feel like I am at the center of 'white' culture here, and that being the case, I am not only authorized to comment on it, but obligated to.

V'ere are your PAPERS!?!

If you have not been paying attention recently, the Arizona governor just signed a law that essentially gives police the authority to stop anyone they have "reasonable suspicion" to be an illegal immigrant, and demand they provide identification proving they are a citizen, and if not provided, they can go straight to jail, with the possibly of deportation. The moment the bill was passed, everyone started weighing in, of particular note was John McCain's daughter, Meghan McCain. Her father has as well, just today commenting that it was the Obama Admin's fault due to their failure to 'secure our borders,' ignoring the FACT that Bush's hollow gesture of erecting 700 more miles of fence was just that, a hollow gesture. The border with Mexico is 1,969 miles long, and over 250 million people cross it every year, whether legally or not. It's disrespectful, ignorant and outrageous to accuse Obama of one more thing that Bush let fall though his fingers.
This whole spectacle ends up being just another bandage on an open wound, where the problem is multi-faceted and significant. Mexico is doing little to stop the flow of immigrants and drugs, our visa and naturalization processes are too complicated, difficult and expensive, and Americans are far too overtly racist. There WILL be problems with racial profiling; American citizens will be harassed due to their ethnic background. This is not right, and the solution needs to be more comprehensive than a knee-jerk reaction that will simply weed out a few illegals in Arizona and send them home, with plenty of opportunity to come right back over the border. I can't tell what a good solution would be, I'm not invested enough in all the issues and politics surrounding this particular dilemma, but I still know when something isn't right, and demanding to see someone's papers because they 'look' like they don't belong is something we tried to put a stop to some years ago, if you will recall.

Dear Utah County

Just recently, the HOV lanes in Orem disappeared, part of a massive reconstruction effort in the county to widen the freeway and rebuild the bridges. These lanes will be gone for at least the next two years, while the freeway is worked on. Personally, I hope they were taken away as punishment to the majority of Utah County drivers who misuse and abuse the lanes constantly, especially during traffic hours. More times than I can count have I seen drivers who normally weave back and forth in traffic dodge into that lane and use it to pass the cars they were too impatient to wait for (which brings up the problem of the fast-lane campers that refuse to move out of the way for faster traffic) and pull in and out of it, over the double lines, usually without signaling. This is a bad and potentially deadly habit, one which I have to put up with when I ride my motorcycle and dare use the carpool lane. I can be traveling faster than the posted speed and still have someone come up behind me and weave around, putting my life on the line so they can get wherever they are going 30 seconds faster. Or perhaps imagine traveling down the HOV lane while the rest of the lanes are backed up and have someone shoot in front of you doing 20-30 mph slower than you, and you get to put your braking system to the ultimate test. Thanks alot, you inconsiderate, life-endangering assholes. I hope the carpool lanes don't come back, and you're stuck in traffic forever, in hell.

Man beaten by nature, once again

I found this interesting article today on Science Daily showing proof that lightning, in the right conditions, creates small particle accelerators in the upper atmosphere that have the energy of a small nuclear plant. There are several other phenomena associated with lightning and electricity that we know little about, like ball lightning, sprites, blue jets and bead lightning.
It was theorized back in 1925 that these high energy particle beams occurred, and it appears they do. Mother nature seems to cause this on merely on accident, or maybe just for the hell of it. We (everyone involved) spent almost 4.5 billion dollars on the LHC at Cern alone, and the first time they tried it, it broke the machine. There are 78 of these in the world currently, of varying sizes.
Man has been struggling to understand the universe for centuries, if not millenia. Lightning still remains relatively poorly understood, despite its common occurrence. It's also really cool to watch, especially in slow motion. This just goes to show us that we still have so much to learn about the forces in nature, even things that occur around us every day.

Beck Shows His Stripes

Although a tiger never changes his stripes, he may be able to cover them, possibly from the mounds of muck he has raked up over the years. In fact, some might even mistake a tiger for a completely different animal, and shower it with praise. Such an animal is Glenn Beck. This former morning zoo reject turned Mormon and conservative talk sweetheart/poster-boy admitted in an interview that appeared in Forbes magazine that, "I could give a flying crap about the political process...we're an entertainment company." I doubt that many of his die-hard followers would read such a hoity-toity elitist rag like Forbes, and would notice this. All the hateful ideological drivel he spouts is nothing more than a method for raking in substantial amounts of cash, the smallest fraction of which (a modest $2 million a year) from his popular 'entertainment' show, on which he constantly sheds tears and uses some of the most amazingly backwards, circular logic to make his famous (and famously parodied (2)) assumptions and connections. At first I wasn't able to figure out why people adore Beck so much, but it finally came to me. He's the Larry the Cable Guy of punditry. A pudgy, white, average-looking guy who wears a persona and a button-up shirt. Like a buttoned up shirt. He's not business-like as Hannity prefers to appear, or a cranky old fart like O'Reilly. He's the pale, religious guy that cries a lot, loves his country, and is just like you, but just happened to make 32 million dollars last year.
Good job turning all that fear-mongering into cold, hard cash, Beck.

Genetics vs. Capitalism

I'm not going to give a score on this, because the battle is far from over, and has possibly just begun. Although, humanity has made a small win over a corporation who had patented a pair of genes used to detect cancers. Therefore, only this company could run tests on these genes, and charged handsomely for it. The judge said no, agreeing with the ACLU that DNA is a besic part of everyone's individuality. This opens up the possibility for the 2,000 or so other patents on genes to be questioned, and should. Human genes should not be patented by anyone, it is the fundamental 'open source' material.

Welcome to the Land of Unemployment

Two weeks ago, I suffered a fate many other Americans have in the last two years, something I haven't had to deal with in nearly nine years. I became unemployed. I wasn't fired or 'let go' for my own failings in my job or anything serious like that, just laid off due to a lack of work. Although I was very capable at what I was doing, the lack of anything TO DO made me the most expendable. Another tech was laid off and the third went part time, something my boss had not had to do in about fifteen years. This dismal state was brought about by this dismal state, which lags behind the rest of the country in some sort of Lostian time bubble, which makes things that affect the country economically take about six months to get here. Weird, I know. This state has other properties that are suspiciously similar to the island in Lost, like this black-hole effect that causes many who think they have escaped it to inevitably be drawn back in. Enough about this land of Mormons and mystery.
I began my stint in unemployment with a dazed sort of deja vu, sending me back to the summer of 2001 when I first experienced being let go. I had much less experience back then, also quite a few less bills and responsibilities, but I had that same feeling of 'what do I do now?' Well, first things first, file for unemployment, which the internets have made much easier these days. Done the night I received the news. Next morning, I began my tedious search for work. The Workforce Service site was still quite handy in this, despite 99% of the jobs being far out of range of my qualifications. Next I went on to craigslist, one of the handiest sites out there, but quickly learned how much the site has become target to scam artists attempting to fool would-be applicants into giving up personal information. A landslide of useless emails and phone calls quickly followed, and I learned to differentiate the legit postings from the false ones. Careful out there on the Internet, I'm still just getting a handle on all these scam contacts.
It's not as easy to get a job as I had hoped it would be, picking up the occasional part-day work has filled in the time not spent on school or searching for a job. Utah's unemployment rate jumped 1.5% from Nov. 2009 to February of this year, right before I met my current fate. I'm not surprised it has been difficult finding work. To all those out there who are like me, keep up the search, and don't give up, something always comes around. I'll keep looking, and until I find what I'm looking for, I'll keep that fraction of my dignity that the unemployment office has decided to give me back.

Daily Douchebaggery

This douchebaggery is far more extensive than a single incident, and those culpable are many. Tuesday was a historic day for America, with the signing of a bill with such far-reaching importance that it will affect our children and grandchildren. The Health-Care reform bill narrowly passed through the House and Senate, and was signed into law by President Barack Obama. This is not the douchebaggery that I speak of.
During the health care reform debate, and his presidency in general, torrents of indescribable hatred, disguised as patriotism and Christianity, continued to flow unabated. The Tea Partiers are some of the worst of the group, last week mocking a man with Parkinson's who was peacefully protesting their protest, and before the vote on the reform bill, were tossing such epithets as 'nigger' and 'faggot' at certain members of congress, and laughing. Compassionate conservatism my ass. This is not protest, this is mean-spirited bullying. The conservatives aren't getting their way so they throw tantrums. It shows a lacking of any party morality, and Bob Herbert of the New York Times puts it even better as a complete lack of class.
The GOP should be held accountable for this, tacitly approving of these ugly, hateful tactics used to rile up a large group of ignorant, fearful people to push their agenda, which seems to only be tearing down and fighting anything Obama tries to do. Their small army of pocketed pundits on the various right-leaning television and radio stations do much of the work for them, bluntly calling for insurrection, impeachment and protest in complete ignorance and diametrically opposed to facts. Bombastic radio host Limbaugh threatened to leave the country if the bill was passed, claiming he would go somewhere else for his health care, like Costa Rica (which has nationalized medicine) but of course backed out of his claims at the last minute.
There are many other reasons and instances I could bring up to support my nomination of the entire GOP, the Tea Party and anyone else who supports their ideals for constant and impressively ignorant douchebaggery, but I don't have the time.

Respect the President . . . unless you don't agree with him!

I have been watching the rapidly deteriorating amount of respect paid to our president over the past 16 months, and am constantly reminded of all the huffing and puffing I heard during Bush's term from the conservative side about respecting the president. Despite all the things Bush did or may have done that would warrant a loss of respect for him, he received a lot of unnecessary scorn and disrespect. At his worst he was nothing but an ignorant tool of the republican party and his big business connections, but he wasn't anything compared to Hitler; and for that matter, neither is our current president. When your argument comes down to comparing a person to one of the most vile and hated figures in recent history, you've lost your argument. Why not compare to Pol Pot or Stalin, who killed more the 23 million, or Mao Ze-Dong, a brutal leader that may have killed over 78 million. This is all due to our Americanized, Euro-centric view of the world, but that is a subject for another post.
I just found it startling how fast the 'respect for the office' argument went right out the window as soon as Obama was sworn in. Within days he was hailed with news of his failed presidency, much to his surprise, I'm sure. Among the other horrible things said about him, such classics as: Nazi, Fascist, Socialist, Communist, Racist, Anti-American and Unpatriotic. Sounds like someone who wouldn't want to President of this country, despite the conflicting nature of the monikers.
As president, Barack should expect a little bullying from his opponents, he's never going to get everyone to agree with or like him. But this has just gotten completely out of hand, and is being led by the media giants MSNBC and FNC. Pundits like Hannity claim that there is this 'Obama-mania Media' out there somewhere that lauds every bowel movement he makes, but I have yet to see it. His support is still broad, but generally quite, especially in comparison to the anti-Obama fanatics out there screaming on street corners and crying on their very own talk shows.
The hatred, fear and ignorance is becoming palpable, but is still no excuse for the massive disrespect paid to the elected leader of this country. You can hate him all you want, but he is still your president. Try writing a letter sharing your concerns rather than posting hateful, jackass comments on threads everywhere on the Internet. Even former president Bush's wife, Laura Bush agrees with respecting the president, no matter who it is.
His speech to school children last year was an excellent marker for how deep the hatred and disrespect for our president has spread. Parents wanted schools to boycott the televised message, fearing he might infect our kids with such socialist sentiments as 'staying in school' and working hard. What a bastard. This is a great message to send to children, isn't it? Never trust anything the president says. Isn't it a big conservative ideal to teach children respect for your parents, elders and leaders? It definitely should be.

Stop Smiling, Dammit!

It is a well known fact that people tend to anthropomorphize certain things, giving them names and assigning characteristics as human in nature. This is especially true when it comes to cars. they usually end up with female names, although I've continually referred to my Camaro as 'The Beast," and will often talk to them and treat them like they are an actual living, breathing entity. This conjures up Stephen King-esque nightmares of demonic cars and killer trucks gone wild, but even more horrifying, the idea of cutesy-cars. You've seen them before; in movies, talking about their owners in commercials, and saving us from Megatron again and again. Cars should not look 'cute' in my opinion, although I'm sure many girls would disagree with me. They should look tough, aggressive, angry, manly or sinister, like this Mazda concept. Or at the very least, sexy.
The reasons this is done are psychological, people are more inclined to associate positively with a human-like object, as noted in an article on Science Daily. This humanised design has been becoming more apparent the last couple years, but I think the whole modern push may have begun with the Dodge Neon back in the mid-90's, with their slogan, 'Hi.' But the last ten years have seen a huge surge in cute cars, with the new VW Beetle, the revived Mini Cooper, the new Mazda 3, the Honda Fit, the Toyota Prius, the Smart Car, and this terrifying photo above of a Nissan Cube concept that can actually mimic facial expressions. This doesn't even count the slew of European and Asian cars that Americans never get to see except at car expos. I've been to Japan, they're all horrendously cute.
I have not said anything of people cutesifying their cars after the purchase, covering them with stickers and ugly pastel paint jobs, trying to create their car as an extension of their personality, this is a horrible practice in and of itself, an deems its own post. I'm just tired of going down the road in my angry car, having cars grinning stupidly at me. Like the new Mazda 3, that chrome strip makes it look like it has a retainer. And don't get me started on that damn Volkswagen Beetle. I think that car is the Germans trying to get back at us for WWII. Probably the worst vehicle I've ever had to work on. So, please, car designers of the world, please stop making cars smile at me.

Why Technology is Awesome

Since I was a kid, I've been fascinated with science and technology, a love that has continued unabated to this day. In fact, it has increased since abandoning the murky logic of religion for the hard, discernible facts of science. Although astronomy and computer technology are my more favorite subjects, like black holes and controlling machines with your mind, almost anything mildly interesting is worth a read for me. This is how I stumbled upon an article on PopSci that relates research done by Austrian scientists that could help create computers that compute data FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. That's right, you read my all-caps correctly. Using the simple theory of quantum entanglement (something that even unnerved Einstein), you could theoretically run a computer that did calculations nearly instantly, tens of trillions of them! Previously un-calculatable equations would become possible. Processor speed would no longer be an issue for any device. And if we ever figure out how to transmit data in a similar fashion, omg the possibilities! Okay, I'm about to have a geekgasm, so I'll calm down. But, I also found an article on Nokia patenting a self-charging cell-phone. Why would anyone ever hate science? Look at all the cool shit we get out of it. Next time you think about looking down on science or claiming it's 'boring,' look at that cell-phone in your pocket that couldn't have existed five or ten years ago. And that HDTV. And the computer ten-thousand times faster than the first one. Technology is awesome.

Intelligence - 1, Ignorance - 0 (This time)

Thankfully, another ignorant, self-righteous prick has been forced out of power in the Texas education system. Although their Board of Education Chairman is still in power as far I can tell, this man is far worse, saying horrendously ignorant things like, "Is understanding of evolution 'vital' to the understanding of biology? No." This man has helped in trying to change the Texas textbook standards that could effect the rest of the nation, with a religious, Christian-centric bent. He truly believes the earth is only a few thousand years old, contrary to well-established scientific knowledge, and apparently believes children should be taught that in their schools.
He also believes that minorities should be thankful to the majority (read the white, Christian/Evangelical male subtext) for getting them their rights. Because, of course, they had no hand in it, like the civil rights movement or female suffrage. It's just too bad that he'll still be in his position until the end of the year, he may still be able to affect other people's lives with his close-minded and egotistical ramblings.

Welcome to Energy Solutions Elementary

A bill was introduced last month by Jim Bird of the Utah State legislature, HB393, that would allow advertising on school buses, something at least six other states have done. It was rejected last Friday. They did, however, OK a bill that could end bus service for kids all over the state. I find this a terrible choice, and a decision that could harm our children in untold ways. I think we should allow this creeping commercialization into and onto our child's' buses, but why stop there? Considering the failure that our education system has evidently become, why not privatize and commercialize the the entire system? I can see a day where I proudly send by kids to M&M Mini's Elementary School, where every child will have a computer and a chance to learn their importance in society as a consumer. From there they will go on to Hershey's Kisses Junior High where important social skills will be learned and they will be introduced to the intricacies of capitalism. In Snickers High, our children will be prepared for the world through the arts, higher maths and a love of branding and commercialism. The only other option we have is to let the state continue to run the education system in the ground by firing teachers, increasing class sizes, and if state Senator Chris Buttars would have his way, eradicate the 12th grade from the system. Only corporate America can save us from this madness.

Provo, Growing Up

The fair city which I call home has been like an adolescent in the extended family of big cities, albeit an overly religious and slightly hypocritical one. Recently it has been growing up a little bit, gaining a third 'skyscraper' downtown (and plans for a forth!), even with the number of bars. We'll be getting the UTA Frontrunner train in a few years, and there are plans for light-rail as well. On the 'scene' in Provo (or lack thereof), a few hip restaurants have been popping up here and there, and after having nothing classy but the Chef's Table within the valley, Spark opened last year and then Communal. It's nice to have restaurants where you can get reservations for busy nights, and not at the dozens of chain restaurants that proliferate the area.
I always get a little depressed when I look at the Urban Spoon page and notice that a hot dog joint is still the number one restaurant in town, above even the excellent Indian food of the Bombay House and Nick's amazing food at Nicoitalia Pizzeria. Seriously? It's a hot dog. Another reason to harbor animosity toward a certain segment of our populace. If you live(d) here, you know who I'm talking about.
Although Salt Lake and Park City are always going to outpace Provo, this is still good news. It means our town will cater to a wider variety of people than just college students, young families and the elderly. As a professed foodie, I'm very excited about this, hoping that in the near future I wont have to drive to Salt Lake to get some decent food. Still, The Melting Pot, Donovan's, Z'tejas, Stoneground, and other favorites, at least 35 minutes away. I hope this only encourages more enterprising, unique restaurants to open in Happy Valley, something sorely needed here.

Red-faced Redbox

Continually proving the movie industry is going to attempt to maintain a dying business model as long as possible, Warner blue-balled Redbox into accepting a wait period of 28 days on new-releases, a little over a month after forcing Netflix into the same submission hold. Most smart individuals realize this is a complete dick move that does nothing but hurt everyone involved, and only increases the potential for piracy.
Many people who aren't willing to fork out 4 bucks plus tax to watch a shitty new-release and would prefer to pay a dollar, but now can't, will inevitably download a pirated copy, watch it, and forget about it, feeling only slightly soiled at wasting 90 minutes of their life on a piece of poorly-executed tripe. Therefore the production company loses. The occasional not-so-shitty release may get burned, passed around, re-watched and eventually lost in the backseat of someones Toyota, which may accelerate out of control and crash, violently exploding, destroying the disc no one paid for. Just kidding, Toyota.
Redbox also has to drop a lawsuit against Warner Bros. for trying to prevent them from getting their movies, so they lose double. Pirates have to work extra hard to keep up with the releases, and the quality of their work will suffer, so everyone else loses. Maybe everyone is losing more than Warner in this deal, so they're content.

Words of Truth - From Orrin Hatch?!?

I have never been a fan of the legislators from our state, with few exceptions. Least of all these are the incumbents that have been in there for decades, and as conservatives are well known for attempting to maintain the status quo (their version of it, anyway), rarely say anything surprising. Not the best apotheosis for this is the eminent Senator Orrin Hatch; he writes, he sings, he reaches across party lines, he keeps getting elected! A surprisingly moderate conservative from Utah, he has supported stem-cell research, higher education for illegal immigrants, and pushed legislation that would let anyone who has been a citizen of the US for 20 years to run for the presidency and vice presidency. However, he hates files sharing and the Internet and his son is lobbyist whom he seems to have helped out quite a bit.
But recently, at a town hall meeting in American Fork, UT, he enraged his constituents by speaking the truth about the tea Party movement, and what it's doing to the Republican party. "If we fractionalize the Republican Party, we are going to see more liberals elected," Hatch said, with a definitive partisan spin on the message, basically telling the crowd that this movement is breaking up the GOP. And, surprise, they didn't like to hear it, as many who spend their lives in a fictional world are apt to when they hear the truth.
It's not a party based on a rational, objective look at politics and the Obama Administration's policies; it's based on a reactionary, uninformed group of people being led by disaffected politicians and FoxNews, the largest purveyor of hate, misinformation and fear ever seen. When well established politicians like Hatch are shying away from something that gathers large group of easily led conservatives, you know something is wrong.

Nuclear Winter Wear

Doomsday Sale!!
Everything Must Go!!
Need to make room for our
Nuclear Winter Wear!!
No cash, no gold, no problem,
barter your child for a better
post-apocalypse lifestyle.

Wise businessmen never miss a beat
an opening or an opportunity
some will always seek t
make a profit—even after
the illusions of safety
and peace in our world end.

Coming to you this January, be sure
not to miss this season's
hottest Geiger Gear;
and wait until you see our
Functional Fabulous February
Fallout Fashions!!

Traders become militant millionaires
banking on Cadillac survivalists
wanting custom handmade
Gucci gun-cases in their
Wasteland Edition H2
with bullet-proof glass
puncture-proof tires
and spill-proof cup-holders.

Nothing Held Back!!
We'll ignore rationing edicts
this weekend only,
just for our customers!
Bring your cash, but
leave your guns at home!
We Must Be Crazy!!
Or at Least Slightly Irradiated!!

Soon as televisions work again,
business will flourish;
the faithful line up silent
wallets and purses in hand
at fallout-shelter mega-stores
smiling in satisfaction knowing
they were right; the End is Nigh--
of high prices.

The Slacker

With the return of school, among various other excuses, I haven't posted in over a month. I am ashamed of myself, with the time I do spend on my computer, and the acquisition of this handy laptop I'm currently writing from, that I haven't done a single post in this time. I promise to be more studios about this, at least once a week sounds reasonable. If, for any reason I do not maintain this simple goal, I shall flagellate myself with a handful of various computer cords. Power cords will not be left out of this.

Just in case you weren't sure . . .

Fox News has made a move that perfectly shows how 'Fair and Balanced' they are, in signing Sarah Palin on as a commentator, according to the Washington Post. Her job will also encompass writing a column on Fox News' web site. The only thing I'm surprised at is that it took this long for her to join their spurious ranks. She isn't the first out-of-work Republican to be snatched up by Fox, Karl Rove has been appearing regularly for some time. Seth Ackerman of FAIR wrote a lengthy article on Fox News' overabundance of conservative and Republican pundits and commentators way back in 2001. Dropping the vaguely Liberal Alan Colmes from Hannity's show so he could fly solo was just another sign back in 2008. Their media bias (that thing Liberals do Hannity rants and froths about on a regular basis on both his television show and radio show) is so overwhelmingly apparent, it's hard to understand anyone who believes otherwise has a firm grasp on reality. If they want to be conservatively biases, fine. Just admit to it, and stop calling yourself fair and balanced. Republicans outnumber Democrats or Liberals on your network by far,and most stories slant to the right in some way. Sarah Palin offers no balance to an already unbalanced network, I'm surprised she can stand up how unbalanced she seems. I'm curious how soon it will be before her imaginary 'death panels' come up again. Want balance? Give Al Gore a show. No, that's a bad idea. But seriously, stop pandering to your already secure fan base. No one is shocked or caught of guard by this. Maybe Clinton would work for you, if you can keep him away from your aides and interns.

Facebook Activism

I joined Facebook last year at the promptings of a certain individual, and, much like Myspace, have regretted it ever since. I like the ability to connect with friends and family around the world, catch up with old compadres and chat with cousins you don't get to see. However, some of these people have little else to do but sit on their computer and play Farmville all day, constantly poking their friends and making various useless comments. Fine. This I can deal with, but there is one thing that I get which I have found exceedingly aggravating, and that is the 'cause' function of this site. You can join any various hollow cause with a few mouse clicks, and then 'invite' all your friends and relatives, assuring that they know you support this particular empty effort. I have not joined a single one of these, despite many friendly attempts by people in my circle. No, I will not join to Keep God in Schools, the last place religion needs to have any influence. Sorry. I don't care if it's to Stop the Senseless Slaughter of Endangered Field-mice by Feral Cats, I'm not going to join an effort that you yourself will do nothing more about than to mention 'how very sad' this is, or how important, knowing that in days-no-hours, you will give it little or no more thought. Please stop this, and I will stop deleting your requests, and I might even try to take you more seriously as a person. Regards, an annoyed Internet user.