The In-crowd

The past few years, I've been noticing an increase in the profusion of hipsters and scenesters infesting Provo and Utah County at large. This I find quite amusing, since Provo really has no 'scene' to speak of, and is definitely not hip. Three small bars, a few coffee shops and a pool-hall make up the 'night-life' of our town, and the newly opened club, which I will not even bother naming to give them the free advertising, admits teenagers, immediately rendering it un-hip. And if you're over 20 and hanging out at a club that is filled with teenagers you are either a) a pedophile, b) a loser with nothing better to do or c) a loser pedophile that can't get a ride to a better club in Salt Lake.
The hipsters invariably end up at Denny's or the Rice King for their evening fare, the latter is kept alive by this annoying and useless segment of our populace through some cruel hoax perpetrated by a crueler god. Oh great and terrible Cthulhu, how have be angered thee?!? The only classy joint downtown, Spark, I have heard called 'too hip for Provo.' Most scenesters seem to avoid it anyway, preferring to haunt the few small music venues downtown, crowding around outside, the interior buzzing with teenage chatter and shittily amplified music from the mostly uninspired and uninteresting local bands. They occasionally manage to pull in a decent act, who can't be heard over the mmsing kids and 'cool' college students talking about how this place or that place is soo much better, we should go hang out there instead.
They usually spend their nights wandering downtown like so many tight-jeaned, hair-dyed, ironically-bespectacled zombies, alternately standing in front of the various venues, trying to look cool without looking too cool or comfortable, like, 'Meh, I could go in, but its just not indie/hip/scene enough for me, besides, I spent all my money on this new fedora that doesn't fit properly, We should go get huge plates of fried rice at the King and complain about how all the bands we liked last year all sold out and these new ones we found out about on facebook are so awesome, indie, raw and unique, just like everything else we listen to.'
It hurts my head to keep thinking like a scene kid, so I have to stop before I start combing my hair to the side and growing ironic facial hair. Seriously, are their lives this boring that they have to pretend to have some scrap of anti-culture to cling to just to get through the day? I guess I don't really need to ask that kind of rhetorical question.