Happy Brithday, Darwin

Christians are still fighting the losing war against evolution, and backing up their claims with unverifiable lines written about 3500 years ago, about 3000 years before there was any science. I'm sure many Christians would have liked to see it that way, after centuries of firmly held beliefs being dashed apart by science. Some classics are geocentrism and scattered flat-earth believers. The main problem stems from the literalists and fundamentalists who believe every word should be taken as truth, despite the Good Book being translated, edited, compiled and re-translated over thousands of years. Science has given us tens of thousands of verifiable, lab-repeatable bits of data about each discipline, and the theory of evolution is no exception. The Bible has phrases that are easily taken out of context and have no proof to back them up.
It is equivalent having the following conversation with someone.
"What's in the box?"
"It's a purple rock. I've never seen it, but I know it's purple."
"How do you know that?"
"It always has been, and it always will be. Everyone should know that."
"But how do they know?"
"Well, because God told someone to write it in this book here, a long time ago, but he's dead now."
"OK...can I look in the box and see what color it is?"
"No, that's blasphemy."
"But I just want to see for myself. That's called science."
"No, you can't go against the word of God!"
"I'm doing it anyway, you can believe what you want, but I want to see--hey, this rock is green!"

"No, it isn't. It's a shade of purple."

Now this may sound a little silly, but have you ever tried to reason with someone with an illogically held belief, and knew something contrary? It isn't easy. Reason and Christianity have never really jived, and science is based on reason. This is why I can never again be a man of faith, I cannot just take someones word for something, I need to find out for myself. Faith precludes knowledge, and without knowledge, you cannot attain wisdom. Rest in peace, Chuck.

All the biblical miracles will at last disappear with the progress of science. - Matthew Arnold

Life and Taxes

Upon completing my taxes this year, I was welcomed with a pleasant surprise; I actually have some coming back to me. Last year I about broke even, but this time around I'm getting about $1,400 back. How did I pull this off? I'm single, no dependents and almost no exemptions to speak of, even though I'm in a school of higher learning. First, I didn't make as much as the year before, and I changed my exemptions on my W-4. It was relatively simple to do, and I didn't notice much of a difference in my paycheck. Now, I can get the tattoos I want, pay down a small loan, and pad my checking account for a few months. All in all this turned out fairly well for me, and our brand-new shiny stimulus checks haven't even arrived yet!
I would feel a little better if it wasn't for the fact that I'm just simply getting my own money back that I already earned. (Here's a secret, taxing an individuals wages is technically unconstitutional, look it up, it's true.)

War - 0, Drugs - 1

Anyone who knows me can testify to my adoration for Reagan and his policies, including his escalation of the "War on Drugs," beloved by politicians for decades. But how goes this war? The only time I ever hear about it is on Prime-Time news, whenever the DEA makes the occasional large bust. This comes off as more a 'see, we're trying' attitude than any actual progress. Even though I do not currently having any drug-consuming friends, I could make a few phone calls and easily procure just about anything. I'm sure many others could say the same thing. But this is just in America, Land of the Free and Home of Cheap Available Drugs.
What about the worldwide efforts to curb the supply and trade of drugs? After the U.S. led invasion of Afghanistan in late 2001, opium production soared, due to the chaos that followed, and remains today. Heroin comes from opium, and I knew several addicts a few years ago, during the height of poppy production in Afghanistan, and they had no trouble whatsoever obtaining it. All you need to do to understand the current availability of this drug is to look at a recent study done in the UK, which shows how cheap it has become. Cheaper than a glass of wine for your average line of coke. This doesn't necessarily mean that less people are doing drugs, but the availability is still so broad that prices have dropped in half, according to this article.
The Federal Government will spend around 20 billion dollars this year on fighting the drug war, not counting the 30 billion local and state governments will spend. Where does all this money go? Now, since I didn't feel like researching that particular subject, I will open up with some wild speculation. Gold-plated carbines, the Annual Spring Flak Jacket Modeling competition, weekly keggers and that high-quality shit from Columbia are my guesses. There are over 2 million persons incarcerated in the U.S. prison system, more per capita than any other country in the world. At least twenty percent are in for drug offenses, that's about four hundred thousand people. All where they can still get the drugs that put them there. So what good is a war on drugs if you're losing?
Propaganda. You can still SAY that you are doing something, even if it is ineffectual and flushing billions of dollars away on armor-plated underwear for DEA agents. It's easier to throw money at a serious problem than to actually try and dig up the roots of the problem and address them. It's time for a song quote, kiddies.

"All research on successful drug policy shows that treatment should be increased; and law enforcement decreased, while abolishing mandatory minimum sentences." - System of a Down - Prison Song

Now when a metal band can reflect a better drug policy than the United States Government, you know something sinister is going on. I'm not going to even attempt to unravel this Gordian Knot of politics, kickbacks, contracts and public image, I don't have the time to do it. Besides, all you smart people out there know propaganda when you hear it. The battle is a losing one, and the War can never be won. But just make sure you don't let anyone take your picture holding a bong, especially if you're a famous Olympic swimmer. Enjoy the song, and listen the words, they're the important thing.

Embarrassed has A's in it?!?

My suspicions have been rewarded, as a recent study of Americans ability to spell (compared to Britons) shows just how far down the linguistic hill we have slid. And this study comprised adults, mind you, not our Internet savvy and grammar- and punctuation-challenged youth. Our ability to spell and comprehend our our language is declining, and this observation is not counting the lazy attitude taken toward it when instant messaging. I will often intentionally skip capitalization and omit commas and periods, I'll even go as far as shorting my words in the popular method kids use these days, but I can write out a sentence with the proper structure anytime I want to. Alas, I cannot say the same for some of the people I know, although I love them dearly.
I see this as part of a much larger problem. As a society, we are becoming lazier when it comes to our own language, preferring to skip or change letters to make something seem more hip, in some obscure way. Extreme has become x-treme!, and anything with an S that can be changed to a Z is done so with frightening regularity. This bothers me not just as an English major, but also as a speaker and reader of this, our bastardized language. We are taking one of the more complex languages on the planet and deconstructing it to fit our lifestyle. Far too often I have heard (or said) 'sup,' instead of 'Hey, how are you doing?' or even 'What is up?' the line from whence this completely used-up contraction came from.
The examples are many, and tiresome to repeat here. My basic grievance with this problem is that I fear it is a sign of our communal declining intelligence. People just don't seem to care that they cannot spell properly. These are the same people who read very little, or not at all. We should be proud to have control over such a difficult language, something I consider the bastard son of German and Latin, with Greek thrown in for good measure. We use words from many different languages on a regular basis, and most don't know or haven't considered where them came from. Anyone who straps on a pair of Nike's should know of the fleet-footed god it descended from. How many people think that guacamole is a Spanish word? Most, I'm sure, do not know of it's native South American origin. There is just no interest in our tongue.
I foresee a day when our words have become either phonetic or completely fallen out of common usage, if this trend keeps up. The loss of handwriting I can live with, but the complete ruination of our language? That is just too much. Research has shown that we lose a distinct language every two weeks on this planet, that's twenty-five a year. Instead of tossing our distinct language into the pit of decay, we should be refining it, making American English something to be proud of, not scoffed at by the British or ruined by advertising agencies. I really don't know where it will go from here, this trashing of the only language most of us grew up with. I really don't see the sense in demanding new-comers to this country to speak our language when we can hardly handle it ourselves. Just put down the remote for a moment, or back away from the keyboard, and pick up a book, or dust off the dictionary and learn a new word or two. You'll be amazed at what you can learn from your own language.

Daily Douchebaggery

It's been a while since someone has pissed me off enough to blog about them specifically, and mister Beck has been on my list for a while. There have been a few things, very few things, that I have agrees with him on, and he's gotten a pass, I suppose, because he isn't as hard-nosed as Hannity and O'really, but when you start attacking kids, you've gone too far. I could care less about Al Gore, and his Inconvenient Truth, you can stack information and statistics to support pretty much anything. Just read 'State of Fear' by Michael Crichton, this book refutes 99% of the supposed 'facts' in Gore's documentary, and he was goddamn doctor and author. Whether or not you believe global warming is real, there is such a thing as climate change, and it's a natural part of nature. Taking an interest in the climate and environment isn't anti-American, you douchebag. Just because the Conservative line is to disbelieve global warming and strive to dig up all the coal and oil we can doesn't mean you should follow it. Don't even dare calling yourself patriotic when you constantly attack other Americans who have different belief than you and wonder what happened to 'your country.' I'm sorry, but the conservative-white-Christian power structure you pine over is a veritable House of Usher. It is already coming down, so realize you live in a melting pot, not pure-white, Christian Republican nation where Mother Nature is our bitch, and it's not okay to brainwash kids with anything other than Christian intolerance and a love of capitalism. Get over yourself, buddy.

Less Death on Wheels Pt. 2

It appears my indignant ranting may be having some type of osmotic effect on the internets, seeping down into the hate-mail strewn in-boxes of our state legislators. There is a bill in the works that would ban texting while driving, a move that is years behind the times. California passed a similar bill last year, and went into effect at the beginning of this one. It seems that our law-makers were able to pull their collective heads out of their hindquarters long enough to catch a hint of a problem far more serious than private clubs and visible liquor mixing in restaurants. I seriously hope that this gets passed, and if it does, I promise right here that I will actually obey this law, not only so I can feel a sense of smug superiority over those that don't and the ones who get busted. Oh, the unbridled self-satisfaction I'll feel if I see those bars light up behind some inconsiderate text-er weaving on the freeway. I'm getting a little excited just thinking about it now. Let's all hope that this becomes law, and not too far in the future. Seriously, our roads are dangerous enough as it is.

Well, I don't know. . . maybe?

I recently stumbled upon a beautifully written article by Sultan Knish, so well-crafted that it's biting satire could easily be read as an honest approach to 'moderatism.' That's my word, I'm officially creating that and defining it, so don't try to steal it. Anyway, I got to thinking about this, and I noticed that most Western religions do not preach moderation or any sort, you must be with them or you are against them. No place for fence-sitters. And you you don't entirely agree with some aspect of it? You had better get on your knees and start praying until you do agree. Can this lead to staggering levels of cognitive dissonance? Possibly. Can people that do this still respect themselves every time they look in a mirror? Sure, you can force yourself to believe anything; that you're doing God's will, that people want to do good, that you are a good person, that Diet Mt. Dew tastes just like regular Mt. Dew. No, no it doesn't. I have a shark's sense of taste when it comes to aspartame, dammit. Ahem.
Moderates are people that are afraid to offend anyone. They get the vegetarian meal just-in-case. They watch the movie they've already seen twice so as not to take a chance. They don't anyone getting worked about about an idea that can't be evenly discussed in the blandest and most inoffensive way possible--from both sides. These are people you don't like talking to because they never have an opinion or never disagree with you in any emphatic way. They are the plain, non-dairy yogurt-like dessert of society. No one really cares for them, but they will abide if they must. It can't really hurt you, it's just flavorless. These people will say that Sean Hannity is a very emphatic speaker, and electric cars are a nice idea.
Okay, I'm running out of analogies, so I'll just end here. Please, for whatever god you look to's sake, have a damn opinion and don't be wishy-washy. Form some convictions, and please, grow a spine.

Please turn to chapter six, the Fashions of the Nineties.

I came to a startling and depressing realization this morning while shaving my face. No joke. I was shaving, letting my mind wander, and I had an epiphany, almost causing me to drop my razor into the sink.
I am a fan of learning, and history; therefore I enjoy learning about history. Looking back at how American culture has evolved, you can see that the most important people that we remember are the ones who caused change, for better or worse. We all know who Christopher Columbus was (at least the fanciful, heroified version of him) and President Lincoln, despite being dust for many years. We don't know much about the famous actors (with the exception of John Wilkes Booth) and fashion trends are often only curious side-notes, with few exceptions. We only talk about beaver top-hats in history because of the impact they had on the fur trade and the exploration of what is now North America.
Now, our teaching of our own history in this country is by far inferior and poorly executed, attempting to drill countless boring dates and names into our tender, ADD-ridden kids. No one asks question, no one teaches WHY things happened, just when an where, oh, and America is great and does nothing wrong, but that's a subject for another post.
This isn't my life-altering thought, though. I have this belief that popular culture is not important in the long run, believe it or not. Things as disposable as American Idol contestants and fashion styles that change tri-monthly should not be focused on with so much scrutiny. Our local Fox affiliate runs a segment at least weekly on Idol, in prime-time. This is how important this stuff is to our sheeply consumers. And thinking this, I know that it wont matter in a year, much less twenty or fifty.
But then I realized, what if I'm wrong? What if, in fifty years time, this is the stuff they are teaching our grandchildren? That instead of a chapter on the presidency of George W. Bush, there's a chapter on the various marriages of early 21st century celebrities? Brad and Angelina instead of Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay. The Iraq War could merely be a backdrop for the return of large brimmed sunglasses and the popularity of low-rider jeans. Escalade's instead of the skyrocketing then plummeting fuel prices and the horrendous amounts of money made off of it by oil companies.
Could our future generations learn about Hilary's pantsuits instead of her real potential for the presidency? It thought it so possible that it has been bothering me the rest of the day. Just to think that history textbooks could soon be filled with pictures of Jennifer Lopez's green dress and Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction runs a shudder up my spine. Charts of population increases and ethnicity could be replaced by pie charts of who thought Cruise and Cruz made a good couple or Mac vs. PC distribution.
I have abruptly lost my hope in the future, and I'm not sure when it will return. We may be heading for a time when cancer is a thing of the past and we have space cruises and underground freeways, but all our posterity might be forced to memorize the winners of all twenty seasons of American Idol instead of the presidents. Sigh.

Who wants seconds? I sure do.

There appears to be some good coming from this (sic) recession, aside from plummeting gas prices and the comeuppance received by companies like GM for poor business practices, people are eating at home again. Yes, this practice, which had been nearing extinction in America's immediate satisfaction, drive-through, let-someone-else-do-it society, seems to be returning home. When you're worried about foreclosing on your house, it doesn't seem as important to try that new Thai place downtown or pile your screaming brats in the car and head for the Golden Arches. As their wallets get lighter, people are starting to realize that yes, they can cook at home for less than a meal for five at your favorite Italian restaurant (Olive Garden for the white folks) with appetizer and unlimited refills. Dusting off the frying pan might also make some of us feel nostalgic, remembering when we were in college and actually had to figure out how to survive on forty bucks a week, and becoming creative again. Maybe this will also revitalize our love with food, and not just eating. I always feel a little bit of pride after I've prepared a meal and I hear nothing but utensils and chewing. It's not even necessary to hear the almost obligatory "That was awesome," from one of my comrades. I hope this lasts a few years, so kids can learn to appreciate what they have in life, and maybe even learn to cook a little, creating something instead of pulling it out of a grease stained wrapper. Optimism is hard for me, so just play along.