Why I Hate 'Knowing' About Cars

Almost everyone, I assume, has one of those friends, the guy that 'knows' about cars. The car-guy. Whether they intentionally become the car-guy or not, they become the go-to for various problems. That guy is me. I'm the one who gets the phone-calls that start out, "Soo, my car isn't starting..." or "Do you know anything about(insert car part or problem here)?" I even get these calls from my own father, whom I had always assumed knew more about cars than me. This comes as a mixed blessing. You have the opportunity to help your friends and loved ones, or to never have them trust your opinion again. Until they need something fixed.
Already this month I have fixed a Saturn door problem, installed an alternator in a Chevy, and a fuel pump in a Nissan. One of the three has had no further issues. I have already promised further work on two of these cars and another Chevy with a door problem. Meanwhile, my Camaro sits behind my place of work with its own bad fuel pump, and my Mazda needs a tune-up.
I've done jobs that caused further problems, or unveiled them. I tore out a transmission for a check-up, and ended up having to buy a rebuilt one, and the car wasn't even mine. But I wanted to drive it, and I'm a nice guy. My own projects get pushed back so I can help my friends out. Is it any surprise that sometimes I wish I didn't know anything about cars? I glean a lot of information off of coworkers and associates due to the industry I work in, and I see them dealing with the same problem. Always under someone else's hood.
I have spent more time under some cars than I have inside of them. And that's no big stretch. At least at work I do for more than gratitude or an occasional burrito (food considered the favored payment for favors amongst our circle). Every once in a while, I wish it was someone else working on my car or my friends, but then I'll always wonder if they're doing it right.

Kiss My Bias

I was recently called out on exposing my personal biases in a recent post, and rightfully so. I'll be the first one to admit that I'm biased. I'm young, intelligent, poor, and angry. I grew up with a passed-down religion, but drifted away in my late teens and finally broke free a few years ago. It hasn't been enough time to heal. I live in a Conservatively dominated religious area, a near opposite of what I may be considered. Not showing a bias is nearly impossible, especially if you have a short temper and an attitude. But, really, am I the only one guilty?
As far as I am considered, everyone is biased in some way or another. Media outlets are nearly all heavily biased, despite claims to being "fair and balanced." If the content was completely two sided and politically correct, no one would watch it, because it would come off as boring. Journalists try to remain unbiased, as do documentary filmmakers. And how well do they do in theaters? It takes biased gentlemen like Micheal Moore to really make money. Too bad he's a douchebag, using tricky editing and playing off people's emotions. But it just proves my point. Everyone is biased, whether it is against certain skin colors, intelligence levels, chosen automotive brands, weight, religion or whatever you find most displeasing in a person.
Does this excuse me or anyone else from at least trying to maintain some semblance of fairness when they write, speak or make inappropriate hand gestures? Probably not, but I can still try, and at least admit when I'm being biased. It is a personal problem, and can be overcome. I have really tried, honestly, to overcome the antipathy I grew up with toward Mexicans, from growing up in Southern California. Biases get passed on, picked up, or just develop, due to one bad experience or years of them.
Right now, the biases I haven't yet deconstructed are toward the fervently religious, conservatives, Republicans and bad drivers. They just make me so angry. And don't get me started on blacks and the Jews.

LDS WTF

As someone who grew up religiously, I learned all the cute, kitschy little catch phrases and mnemonic devices that helped you remember certain things about your faith, and being Mormon, we have our fair share. Latter Day Saints is LDS. Choose The Right, CTR. YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO . Trials and Tribulations. The Word of Wisdom. Hold to the Rod. Articles of Faith. Bear your Testimony. Families are Forever. Called to Serve. Milk before meat. Isn't it about . . . time? They go on and on.
I have come to see my former faith, Mormonism, turned into easily repeatable bumper-sticker quotes. I saw one car just the other day with at least three. One CTR sticker, one R U LDS ? sticker, and those goddamn omnipresent stick figure people, used by Mormon soccer-moms to proclaim their penchant and proclivity for procreation, which is apparently their only other purpose after gossiping about other church members behind their backs and taking anti-depressants by the handful. I saw one minivan with eleven people on the back window. That means nine kids. NINE. From one woman. Why would anyone put themselves through that? If you asked Mrs. Duggar, she would probably give you some bullshit answer about them being gifts from God, when in reality, she just can't seem to keep her legs closed. But I digress.
You know that your religion has become mainstreamed when you have stores dedicated to selling accessories and other crap specifically for your religion. I always thought that CTR rings had a purpose, to be an ever present reminder for you to 'choose the right.' It's more of a useless symbol to me now, just a sign to inform potential suitors that you still think you're twelve and believe a ring will keep you from doing something you aren't supposed to. Purity rings? Wedding rings? Never mind.
All the religious paraphernalia I see just comes off as an attempt at trying to disguise a love of material things behind the mask of faith. Certain clothes are required for a person to enter the Mormon temples, and to be seen as true, faithful members. You have to buy stuff to prove your faithfulness. Sounds more like brand loyalty than faith to me. "Yes, I have my quad and my brand-new leather carrying case, with my gold-embossed name on both of them. I just bought this new church-bag for my mom with Relief Society Mom embroidered on it, and a Christus replica for dad. Isn't that so fetchin' awesome?"
There is an entire bookstore chain dedicated to selling literature to Mormons, covering all genres, including fiction, ironically. Living in Utah Valley as I do, I get to see a local culture that is so saturated with religion that it cannot separate itself from consumerism. Most business is geared toward serving those individuals who love to proclaim their religious status while proclaiming their financial one as well. "Yes, I have Lexus and I drive like a sleepy, drunk, angry twelve-year-old, but I'm LDS and God has blessed me so it's okay." So NOT okay. There is a very bold and obvious contradiction here, where members of a religion that seems to motivate frugality and humility breeds a society of zealous, prideful, want-driven hypocrites who desire to make every effort the show that they are better than--whoever. Add young marriage and rabbit-like breeding to the equation and it's no surprise that Utah consistently leads the nation in bankruptcy filings.
Think about it. Utah is about 50% Mormon, give or take. Mormons are required to give 10% of their gross income to their church to remain in good standing. Then there is the American desire to display your social rank with 'things.' New cars, big house with a maintained lawn, and any combination of 4-wheelers, dirt-bikes, jet-skies and snowmobiles. Then, fill that hole in your soul with more, religious goods, like multiple pictures of a very white Jesus, prophets living and dead, and temples you've seen either never or dozens of times; religious jewelry, books, crafts, and oh-my-god Christmas decorations. That's one for another post.
What it all comes down to in my angry little mind is that Mormons don't really feel fulfilled by their religion, they need stuff to fill that hole, be it religious or otherwise. What would Jesus do? Buy more! I can walk through my neighborhood and count SUV's that cost more than 30K and run out of fingers before I circle the block, and this is a very religious neighborhood. I'm no different, when it comes to wanting. I'd like a nice big house and a new car and all the toys, but I know I can't afford them. And I don't try and hide me desires behind my bumper-sticker religion, they're my selfish desires to have things. But I don't really feel it necessary to try and keep up with the Johnson's. I have my shitty apartment, my cars, paid off, and my motorcycle, not paid off, and that's enough for me right now. God wont provide more for me if I start believing in him again, just the banks and the credit card companies with their cash advances and Annual Percentage Rates. Thanks, but no thanks.
Well, maybe just a few small things. Could I possibly get a set of those blood-red undergarments and a Jupiter talisman so I can be more like Joseph Smith? A couple young wives would be nice too.

To Alcohol!

I am so happy that a doctor has confirmed by belief that it is okay to be a moderate alcoholic. What's more, it may keep me from being anxious or depressed, and in fact that hasn't been much of an issue in my life since I started drinking. I rarely drink more than a few beers, cocktails or glasses of wine, and I have never had a blackout or been too drunk to remember where my bed was. I've never had a hangover, or done something I regretted later. I've puked a few times, but that comes with learning how and what to drink. Note: whiskey and OJ is bad news, and never try and finish the rest of that box of wine by yourself, there's more in there than you think.
Granted, very few can honestly claim the things I have, in an era of binge drinking that has overshadowed the idea of moderation. Quantity over quality, it seems. That's not what drinking should be about. I've agreed for a long time that parents should drink with their kids and teach them how to be responsible. Telling them no and turning your back to them isn't the greatest way to teach a segment of our population that notoriously avoids following shallow rules that aren't actually followed by their creators. Our society is so ill-informed that, as Rassmusen reports, only 51% of them rate alcohol more dangerous than weed.
Alcohol can be dangerous if used improperly, but we need to stop looking at it like an alluring taboo. As a social lubricant and pleasant, nerve-numbing beverage, it can be enjoyed with near impunity, and it has been seen in studies that light to moderate drinkers live longer. As an adult of the proper age, I enjoy alcohol as a meal enhancement, mind relaxer and calming device. I'm aware of the dangers of consuming it, and the walls I face in society for doing such. I am informed, adult and free to make my own decisions, so I believe that I will have another. And another, and another. But that's it, because I know when to say no.