Barachnophobia

*This was written before the election, but I think it will still be applicable over the next four years.*

Running out of personal flaws and associations to attack, a prominent right wing pundit managed to spin an unexcused sneeze emitted form presidential hopeful Barack Obama into this:

At approximately 4:50 pm Eastern yesterday, Barack “Hussein” Obama began what can only be called a vindictive and potentially lethal germological attack on several prominent elected officials of the United States. During an important and lengthy closed-door meeting on the economy among top officials including many members of the Republican party, Obama staged the surprise attack on the group, including Bernake and John McCain, in a sudden, quiet, and mostly unnoticed sneeze, sending an unknown number of bacteria into the small room, possibly in the thousands. Showing a wanton disregard for the health and safety of even his own party members (speaker Pelosi seated directly across from him), he didn't even apologize or excuse his possibly dangerous sternutation. It is still unknown at this point if Obama is currently infected or coming down with some bacterial or viral infection, but we here pray to God and for our country this was a false attack, a warning shot if you will. It is possible that William Ayers could have supplied Barack with a particularly virulent strain of the flu or common cold, knowing he would be at this meeting and near John McCain that afternoon. I can only see this as an intentional and vile threat to the good senator, whose spokesman is glad to report that the Maverick is currently in perfect health and strong as ever. A second sneeze later in the afternoon on his way to his elitist bus near a crowd of wooed liberal supporters confirms my belief that Barack hates America, willfully spreading germs upwind from a group of misled civilians. They dispersed shortly after, so the effects of this second attack remain to be seen. If your grandmother dies from the flu this winter, you can blame Barack Osam-Obama.