Lyrics Schmerics

I have a bizarre and morbid fascination with bad lyrics, which may be why I catch myself listening to Pokerface, or the occasional country song when I happen to be in the wrong car at the wrong time. There are several reasons why I may not like a particular band or style of music, whether it's because I find it boring, generic, tedious, too 'pop music', or the band has such a low sense of musical integrity *cough* 3 Doors Down *cough* that I just can't listen to them. But every once in a while, I hear something that I have to stop and think about for a minute, and I become obsessed with how utterly and magnificently terrible it is.

Some classic gems amidst the bag o' jewels that was 70-80's hair metal scene are lines like:
"I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet" Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me and
"Only time will tell, if we stand the test of time" Van Halen - Why Can't This Be Love

In that same vein of horrid, and more recently in the music scene, I have found a new goldmine of sentences gone awry; Canadia's own Nickelback. They have two kinds of songs; sad/sappy songs and dirty/sexy/stripper songs. I actually heard a local DJ refer to Nickelback as 'stripper music,' a humorous and more-than-apt term, in my opinion. Some of their worst include Animals a,d Something in Your Mouth, but their newest entry in lyrical torture, Shakin' Hands. the chorus goes something like this:
"Well she ain't no Cinderalla when she gettin' undressed
'cause she rocks it like the naughty wicked witch of the west"

When I first heard this, I was hoping it was a joke, because I didn't think anyone would take music like this seriously. Is it worse that Chad Kroeger looks like Jesus? I think so. The Antichrist of good music. If you happen to come upon this song on the radio, do yourself a favor and turn it off. You should thank me.