I'd like a bonde, blue-eyed baby, please.

I must have been channeling some scientific spirit yesterday when I wrote about DNA mapping being used to make composite images, and then extrapolating with the possibility that it could be used to create personalized toddlers. So, what should I find this morning? A few articles on designer babies. Who wouldn't want to be able to pick out the perfect child to fit into their perfect family, and totally avoid the crap-shoot of genetics? Well, me, for one. I'm also assuming some religions are going to get hot and bothered about this. But more importantly, a fair number of scientists are getting a little peeved at the idea. Who knew that jerking around with a person's DNA before they are even a small jumble of cells in some OC princess' uterine canal would upset some doctors. This practice has already been used for years to halt hereditary diseases in their tracks, surely making some children's lives much happier and enjoyable. But to use this technology just to have a child that is aesthetically pleasing to you is beyond yuppie. It's downright disturbing. If you're only wish is that your child look the way you'd like, I would hesitate to even allow you the privilege of raising offspring. You have some serious sociopathic issues. Get help.

That's him alright. He looks just like this DNA.

When I first saw this article, I was intrigued. Upon reading it, I was amazed, then disturbed, then frightened. But now I'm back to intrigued. We now have the technology to make a composite picture of a person based on their DNA. Wow. Someone could pick up a dab of blood, a hair or some skin cells from you and create a picture of what you should look like, with relative accuracy. I'm betting this method is only in its infancy, and once the practice of obtaining DNA samples of everyone becomes commonplace, it will be much harder to get away with a crime. I'm suddenly remembering the movie Gattaca, in which your DNA decides what you would do in life. This could be very interesting for our future as a society, where you can be tracked by your DNA, catch hereditary diseases before they show themselves, and even carry around a copy of your DNA profile in your wallet in case of emergency. But the downside (and there always is one), is that you can be tracked by your DNA. Also, the idea of eugenics rears its Huxleyan head out of the gloom. If you knew ahead of time that your child would have some disability, or that your combined DNA could possibly produce a serial killer, a child with crippling depression, or heaven forbid, an ugly child, would they end the pregnancy or avoid having children altogether? Doctors could covertly clean up our gene pool, or create perfect combinations of DNA to make super-soldiers or champion runners or--serial killers. I'm going to wait and see on this one.

Good morning, honey--OH MY GOD! Oh. *sob*

I am alternately amused and disturbed by this product, and I cannot quite pin down their market niche. Lonely military wives? Lonely widows? Lonely girls with 'great personalities'? All of the above and more? Whatever it is, it's still kind of creepy. And the part that's even more distressing? At Overstock.com they are SOLD OUT of them. I almost want one so I can slip it into bed with one of my unsuspecting friends in the middle of the night. It would be worth the angry 'did you do this?' phone calls. I don't know who came up with this, but this person is either a freak or a genius, possibly both.

What I really want to know is this: where is the man's equivalent? A slender arm and a soft cottony breast to cradle would help put a lot of lonely traveling salesmen to sleep. Maybe I'm on to something here. . .

John Huntsman, Jr, a Republican I can trust.

Now, I know I beat up a lot on the Republicans, but it isn't like they don't deserve most of it, if not all. When you're in the business of affecting millions of people's lives by making laws and spreading ideals, you're bound to have to take some punches. It's especially bound to happen when many of your prominent members embrace literal creationism in the face of scientific fact and use every venue available to remove rights from our gay population, instead of protecting rights. Abstinence-only education, religious icons and phrases in government buildings, cutting corporate taxes, cutting education spending, picking fights with foreign countries, the list goes on. So why do I like our Republican governor John Huntsman? Enough to even vote for him last go-around? Because he appears to be a logical, moderate-thinking person. He has come out in favor of gay civil-unions in the state practically run by the LDS church, who sealed the fate of Prop 8 in California. Ballsy move, man. Republicans don't even like the idea of civil unions, let alone for homos. Also, in a more personally intimate matter, he is strongly in favor of revamping Utah's bizarre liquor laws, in order to appear more, well, modern. Being the only state in the Union with restrictions on beer and no actual bars, he has a point if we want a stronger future in tourism.
But this latest statement from our governor has made me just about tumble head-over-heels for this republican. Basically, he ignores Utah's own GOP leaders. He's so sick of an 'inconsequential' leadership, he doesn't even bother to get to know them. You've got to be doing something wrong when someone who runs on your own ticket is about to pull anchor and sail for better waters. I agree. When you've been reduced to bickering amongst yourselves and standing for nothing but the opposite of whatever the Dems stand for, you've about come to the end of your run. And if Mr. Hannity thinks people like Mrs. Palin are the new face of his party, he'd better reconsider. If they're going to survive past the end of the decade and actually come up with some real ideas and solutions, they need to get behind someone like Huntsman.

Daily Douchebaggery

This was inevitable, it appears. I had a suspicion that this man would say something unpatriotic and stupid enough to trump the many that spilled out of his pill-stuffed mouth before. He truly, honestly wants our President to fail. the more epic the better, I'm assuming. Why? Because he's black? Not quite. He's young and thought to be inexperienced? Nope. Because he's part of a party of political philosophy that Mr. Limbaugh doesn't agree with? You betcha'. In his own words, it's because he's a 'liberal,' and all liberals want to tear our country down and fail. All logical fallacies aside, this in utterly against everything we are supposed to stand for in a democratic country. I can still here the ringing in my ears from the Republican harpies screeching about Democrats not supporting Bush, so there's the hypocrisy aspect as well.
This begs the question; why? Why would anyone want our highest elected official to fail miserable at his job? Put simply, I told you so. He wants the childish vindication of being able to say that he was right, and every person who voted for Obama was wrong. This wouldn't necessarily bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact that so many people listen to and believe what this windbag says. At a time when we need to work together as a country more than ever before, people like this seek to further divide and pit Americans against each other, merely to increase their ratings and take some arrogant pride in proving that their side of the argument is the correct one. Ironically, Democrats couldn't be happier that the Repub's are listening to this douchebag, because the more confident he gets, the more inimical he seems to become. Every stupid phrase coming out of his mouth only pushes this dead party a little more towards its grave.
So congratulations, Rush, on hastening the end of your crumbling party. Sadly, it will be the suspicious, ineloquent, uninformed middle-Americans who will cling to its rotting corpse long after it has expired. And for that, Rush, you should be ashamed.

I also have a second-place candidate I wanted to mention, Mr. Bill O'Reilly. O'really, as I like to call him, is already a known misogynist (2), was somehow inadvertently invited to speak at a benefit for rape victims. Would you want someone who said the following to speak at such an event?

“Now Moore, Jennifer Moore, 18, on her way to college. She was 5-foot-2, 105 pounds, wearing a miniskirt and a halter top with a bare midriff. Now, again, there you go. So every predator in the world is gonna pick that up at two in the morning. She's walking by herself on the West Side Highway, and she gets picked up by a thug. All right. Now she's out of her mind, drunk.”

Yeah, I wouldn't think so. The only reason I didn't select Bill for this honor, besides selecting him before, is that this is really no big surprise. You'll get yours again, though, Bill. I guarantee it.

Thanks to Media Matters for the quote.