Provo, Growing Up

The fair city which I call home has been like an adolescent in the extended family of big cities, albeit an overly religious and slightly hypocritical one. Recently it has been growing up a little bit, gaining a third 'skyscraper' downtown (and plans for a forth!), even with the number of bars. We'll be getting the UTA Frontrunner train in a few years, and there are plans for light-rail as well. On the 'scene' in Provo (or lack thereof), a few hip restaurants have been popping up here and there, and after having nothing classy but the Chef's Table within the valley, Spark opened last year and then Communal. It's nice to have restaurants where you can get reservations for busy nights, and not at the dozens of chain restaurants that proliferate the area.
I always get a little depressed when I look at the Urban Spoon page and notice that a hot dog joint is still the number one restaurant in town, above even the excellent Indian food of the Bombay House and Nick's amazing food at Nicoitalia Pizzeria. Seriously? It's a hot dog. Another reason to harbor animosity toward a certain segment of our populace. If you live(d) here, you know who I'm talking about.
Although Salt Lake and Park City are always going to outpace Provo, this is still good news. It means our town will cater to a wider variety of people than just college students, young families and the elderly. As a professed foodie, I'm very excited about this, hoping that in the near future I wont have to drive to Salt Lake to get some decent food. Still, The Melting Pot, Donovan's, Z'tejas, Stoneground, and other favorites, at least 35 minutes away. I hope this only encourages more enterprising, unique restaurants to open in Happy Valley, something sorely needed here.

High on LDL

I have a fast-food addiction. Since my teenager years, I have been enamored with the idea of a quick, tasty meal, made cheap by mass production and known by relentless advertising campaigns. McDonald's was one of my first loves, like many innocent, ignorant children fed by hasty working parents with no time to feed their noisy bunch of rugrats. As I grew older and got small jobs, providing me wit some minimal source of income, my fast-food tastes expanded. Taco Bell, Burger King, Wendy's, Pizza Hut, Carl's Jr., various local chains and such. I loved to eat, willing to try almost anything and everything. Every time a new item menu was introduced, I was sure to be there, cash in hand for a taste at what was 'New' in the health vacuum of the fast-food industry.
Whatever came into popularity in the restaurants, I was sure to try it; ancho/poblano, chipotle, "fresh", spicy, whatever. It was cheap, tasted good, and great for socializing. We all went out, be it for Taco Bell, Wendy's, Del Taco, Carl's Jr., Taco Time, Pizza Hut, even McDonald's, the ultimate in fast-food.
But I eventually began to learn things. Like, fast-food wasn't good for you. We expanded to other, sit-down chain restaurants. Denny's, Outback, Village Inn, anything that said 'buffet'. It wasn't fast-food, so it must have been better. There were a few local favorite holes-in-the-wall we would frequent, but not many. The next six or seven years would remain pretty much the same. Eating out far too often, with very little quality food. It was cheap, and we were relatively poor. We experimented with better, foreign foods, Japanese, Thai, Indian, but the regulars were still staples. Burgers, fries and a Coke.
I also learned a great deal more about fast-food and the fast food industry. I own a copy of Fast Food Nation, I watched Super-Size Me, and have Morgan Spurlock's book, Don't Eat This Book. I contribute to a blog dedicated to finding drinks that are better for you. I know better, but I still have problems eating that which is not good for me. I have tried to stop, but it lasts about a week, and I relapse. I think to myself, 'It's only a burrito. It can't be as bad for me as a cheeseburger. Yes, I will have the sour cream and guacamole.' 'I'll just get a burger, no fries and a lemonade or some tea instead of a Coke.' I made a few baby steps. I don't order soda nearly as often as I used to at restaurants. I'll go for the chicken, pork or fish instead of the beef. I cook at home more often. I work out 2-3 times a week. But I still crave that cheap, easy food.
Me and my equally fast-food addicted girlfriend have begun to make a concerted effort to eat less fast-food, buying groceries and cooking at home instead of going out. It is often cheaper, more fun and interactive than sitting at a restaurant. We do go to restaurants though, but try to avoid fast-food. We often aim for foreign cuisine, since it is usually healthier. It was Japanese this weekend, along with two home-cooked dinners and some quick breakfasts in the kitchen instead of the drive-thru. We've been over a week without ingesting something from that came to us through a small window. We're just taking it day by day.
I am an addict, like many of you, whether or not you realize it. Fast food is not good for you, far from it. Watching Super-Size Me was a great eye opener, and helped to bring about the end of my McDonald's visits. Trying to eat a McGriddle sealed the deal. I never ate there again after ingesting that sin against food. But I found many other sources for my drug. Carl's Jr. and Del Taco remain some of my weak points. Although, after a recent attempt to eat breakfast from Burger King, I believe it will join my list of places I will never eat again. I"m a recovering fast-food junkie, and I know I will always be at risk of relapse. I have easy access to Subway food, though it isn't much better for than any other fast food. I make my own lunches whenever possible, and visit small, local joints when I need a lunch. As long as I have support and a strong will, I may become fast-food free some day. Here's hoping.

Camaro = Free Pizza!!

Way back in 1983, John Schnatter sold his beautiful 1971 Chevrolet Camaro Z28, to keep his father's tavern afloat, and start his pizza business. Today, it is known as Papa John's, an international pizza company, and my personal favorite chain pizza. He recently found it again, after a long search, aided by the original buyers. As a reward to his customers (the guy who owned it got 250 k), any Camaro owner can receive one large pizza for free. Just for owning one.
I happen to have one. Mine isn't as impressive as the 1971 1/2 Z28, being just a humble customized 1986 Camaro, but I built it myself. I think I'll go and redeem my 3,000 pound coupon, it's the least I deserve.

Who wants seconds? I sure do.

There appears to be some good coming from this (sic) recession, aside from plummeting gas prices and the comeuppance received by companies like GM for poor business practices, people are eating at home again. Yes, this practice, which had been nearing extinction in America's immediate satisfaction, drive-through, let-someone-else-do-it society, seems to be returning home. When you're worried about foreclosing on your house, it doesn't seem as important to try that new Thai place downtown or pile your screaming brats in the car and head for the Golden Arches. As their wallets get lighter, people are starting to realize that yes, they can cook at home for less than a meal for five at your favorite Italian restaurant (Olive Garden for the white folks) with appetizer and unlimited refills. Dusting off the frying pan might also make some of us feel nostalgic, remembering when we were in college and actually had to figure out how to survive on forty bucks a week, and becoming creative again. Maybe this will also revitalize our love with food, and not just eating. I always feel a little bit of pride after I've prepared a meal and I hear nothing but utensils and chewing. It's not even necessary to hear the almost obligatory "That was awesome," from one of my comrades. I hope this lasts a few years, so kids can learn to appreciate what they have in life, and maybe even learn to cook a little, creating something instead of pulling it out of a grease stained wrapper. Optimism is hard for me, so just play along.

Marlin Tacos and Margaritas

It's a well known fact that food on cruises is usually quite varied, plentiful and delicious. But we went to Mexico, so of course we needed to try the local fare. Our first stop was the verdant and sultry Puerto Vallerta, the southernmost stop on our trip. We got off the boat and just started walking, running into a small clan of wild iguanas on our way downtown. It was hot, but the walk was worth it, we ran into a very friendly and helpful Information lady, who pointed us to a 'clean' restaurant right on the boardwalk.
The place was small, but the food smelled good and they had an assortment of liquors so this satisfied everyone. It was called Malecon. Me and my only male travel companion ordered the marlin tacos, and of course, they were AMAZING. Wahoo's may have just gotten knocked down as my favorite fish taco. Me and someone I will refer to as my 'drink buddy' got the two for one margartia's and proceeded to get a nice healthy buzz. These things were the size of my face, like 20 oz easy and loaded with alcohol. Drink buddy didn't have anything but tortillas, and we both managed to walk out of there under our own power. Our group proceeded down to a river island covered with shops and gardens, purchasing nothing, but having an interesting chat with a shop owner about our new president and the economy, while drink buddy played with his dog.
We wandered back to the tip of the boardwalk, the other two took a cab back to the ship and me and drink buddy went back to Malecon and got some Jack Daniel's shots, then took our own cab back to the ship, stopping at the bar across the way for one more shot. Within minutes, drink buddy turned from friendly- to mean-drunk, striking me repeatedly without provocation. So I dragged drink buddy back onto the boat and put said buddy in their stateroom. Drink buddy then slept for most of the next twelve hours. But it was still worth it. I can't want for a chance to head back to that beautiful town and have some time to really learn the area. Beautiful.

Will you be having steak or kitten, tonight?

Just when I thought the people at PETA couldn't get anymore asinine, they pull this out of their collective ass. In an effort to restrict fishing and their inherent hope that people will stop eating fish altogether ( but, Kurt said fish don't have any feelings!), turning the country into a group of vitamin-deficient, weak-wristed namby-pamby's more worried about the digestive tract of the bear who killed a man than the man who got e't. I'm not attacking the ideals of vegetarians or vegans out there (not directly, anyhow), but those who choose and attempt to force their views about animals on others (and quietly support terrorist organizations like ALF), whilst purchasing freezers to store euthanized pets after chastizing state-run facilities for the very same thing, just need to keep their opinions to themselves.
Calling a fish a 'sea kitten' isn't going to stick, nor is it going to have any effect on the vast majority of the population. A fish is nothing like a feline, and if you remember, they are the stereotypical meal for said animals, and have you ever seen a grouper? Not the cutest thing in the sea. 'Sea chicken' is a more proper moniker, an has already been around for decades. Mmm, I could sure go for some sea chicken right now. Except, I just had a big, medium-rare piece of 'pasture cat,' otherwise known as cow.
PETA, if you don't mind, keep your nose off of my plate, and I'll keep my hate mail out of your inbox.

The All-Natural Illusion

Normally, I rant about High Fructose Corn Syrup on my other blog, since it is primarily associated with beverages. But I am getting just as tired with companies portraying their products as 'natural' as I am with the Corn Lobby for doing the same.
Sure, HFCS is made from corn, right along with biodiesel, ethanol, adhesives and biodegradable plastics. I have several sets of hangers made from the latter. Does that mean I want to eat it? Afraid not. HFCS is a highly refined sweetener, and everyone should avoid eating anything associated with the phrase 'highly refined' or 'highly processed.' So although the initial product it came from was natural, anything that takes this much processing to attain a particular state should defy the label of natural.
The Corn Lobby, or 'Big Corn,' as we like to call it, is in an all out effort to reverse the trend of Americans turning away from HFCS. There have been commercials, magazine ads, and a slew of Internet articles and sites trying to debunk the 'myths' about America's favorite sweetener. Is it OK to consume in moderation? Sure, if you can manage to do that. The AMA says "We do recommend consumers limit the amount of all added caloric sweeteners to no more than 32 grams of sugar daily." That is ONE 12oz can of Coke. Per day. With NO other sweeteners in your diet. And if you like root beet or fruit punch, in one glass you are well over the 32 gram limit. See how difficult that can become?
And as for the companies who label their products as 'natural' with added refined sweeteners, they should be a little more honest. Anything with HFCS, sodium benozoate, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (often made from corn), or enriched white flour is not natural. You cannot reproduce that same product in your home with natural products, unless you happen to have a laboratory and an array of chemicals and enzymes at your disposal. And no, you cannot borrow mine. Also, most fast food is made from or cooking in/with corn and corn byproducts, only extending our dependence on one crop that should be used for other purposes.
I despise corporatism to begin with, although I support the idea of a free-market. I know it's not just the evil companies that are the problem. Mostly, I blame the consumer. Every fat tub-o-guts that cruises up to the drive-thru at their local Mickey D's at least once a day, every middle-aged soccer mom sucking down her sixth daily soda (god forbid it's a diet soda), every lazy-ass parent that takes their kids out to eat instead of cooking at home, has only exacerbated the problem, and the massive explosion of obesity in our fine country.
We live in a time of immediate satisfaction, we are becoming addicted to refined sugars and sodium, consuming as many calories as a professional runner needs in a day, sitting on our asses at home, then in the car, then in the office, and then wonder why we have heart disease, diabetes, and general ill-health. Almost nothing we eat is natural anymore. Even the fruit and veggies you get at the store are covered in waxes, pesticides, herbicides and other chemicals.
I've run out of steam for this post. Sigh. My sugar level is too low, I need a damn soda.

Turkey Day

Reminds me of Predator

Once again I have overeaten and I feel disgusted with myself. I tried to offset the 4,000 caloric intake of food with a lot of fresh vegetables--which I subsequently dipped most of in ranch dressing. Damn you, mother.
But the most shaming bit of indulgence was this. I added pineapple juice, so that makes it slightly healthier, right? But, seriously. This stuff is like crack. For fat people. Or skinny people. Who smoke crack. It's been called 'meat candy.' I ate three pieces of pie with whipped cream just to take the edge off. Good lord, I think I'm going to throw up, but only to make some more room for those divine lil' heart-cloggers.
I wanted to down a couple beers when I got home, but my stomach took up to weeping and wailing, forewarning of the imminent doom my bowels would bring upon me should I choose to take such a food-hardy course of inaction. So I settled down and chose to review a slightly healthier drink for the other blog I contribute to. What is it? Oh, I don't like to brag. It's a humble little piece of cyberspace. Better Libations, for everyone!